Mind Games
by Lia76
Summary: Final part of the Burden Series. Sam, Dean, Bobby & Ellen rush to rescue Jo and save the human race from the demon war. When they learn how Mary's past is linked to Sam's abilities, it's clear he's the key to it all and may have to pay the ultimate price.
1. In My Arms

**Mind Games**

**(This story is the third and final part of my Burden Series. The first story in the series is **_**Burden**_** and the second is **_**Bring Me to Life**_**. As with the other stories, it takes place in **_**my**_** version of season three, following where the show left off after the Season Two finale. Please read the other stories first. I own nothing related to CW or Supernatural and write for enjoyment only.) **

_**Then (excerpt from the end of Bring Me to Life)…**_

"_Thank you for not giving up on my daughter," Ellen said again._

"_I should tell you that I don't have much of a plan," Sam confessed with a small smile._

_"Hey, people like us don't need much of a plan to get the job done," Ellen said, smiling now too. "Tell me what you got."_

_"We head for the Atlantic City boardwalk, about a nineteen hour drive from here. We stop as little as we can along the way. Look to find the psychic Gypsy. I think she'll be able to tell us about my mother. Hopefully, it will give us a lead on Jo. I do know one thing, Ellen. This has to end with me. My mom's spirit told me so, but I knew it already. When we find Jo, you get her out without looking back, you hear me?" Sam said._

_Ellen, smile gone now, nodded. She turned on the ignition, but did not yet put it in drive. She had one more thing to say to Sam._

"_Dean didn't mean what he said, Sam," Ellen said quietly..._

_After he felt at least calm enough to talk without yelling or hitting something, Dean sped back into Missouri's driveway and screeched the Impala to a halt. He refused to dwell on the fact that Ellen's truck was gone from the curb. Dean strode into the house and was surprised to see Bobby and Missouri waiting for him in the living room. Bobby stood and held out Dean's packed green duffle bag. Dean looked at it, confused._

_"Go. I can handle the exorcism," Bobby said as he continued to hold out the bag to him..._

_**Now…**_

**Chapter One: In My Arms**

"_Before all of this happened, he would have stopped my punch! You're weak now, Sam! You're NOT physically OR mentally ready for ANY of this! If you're not my problem anymore, then you DO have a problem. You continue to go down this road, and we're done. You hear me? DONE! I can't watch you die again. I just can't!" Dean yelled, tears glistening in his eyes._

"What the hell?" Ellen's weary voice mumbled, piercing Sam's thoughts. Suddenly aware of loud honking coming from somewhere behind them, Sam looked into the mirror.

"It's my brother!" Sam exclaimed in disbelief, recognizing the Impala's headlights. He was ecstatic until the nauseating anxiety set in a moment later. It was unlikely that Dean had followed them to apologize or to offer his assistance. Dean might just try to kidnap him back to Missouri's or worse, make good on his threat to kill Ellen. Sam didn't intend on letting Dean do either.

"I'll pull over," Ellen said as she too glanced into the mirror before her eyes darted back to the road.

"No, don't. He's made his choice and I've made mine," Sam replied. Sam was glad that his voice did not betray the real reasons he didn't want her to stop.

"Honey, I gotta pull over. We both know your brother and he is _going _to make us to stop one way or the other and I can't afford another truck," she said as she pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the ignition. Sam didn't turn around, but heard the Impala rumble to a stop behind them.

"Well, time to face the music," Ellen said with a hint of trepidation before she turned and put her hand on the door handle.

"I'll go. You wait here," Sam instructed. "And if it gets bad, you take off, okay?"

"Whatever you say. This is your show," Ellen said as she took her hand off of the handle and settled back into her seat. "Good luck."

Sam nodded and climbed out of the truck. He shut the door behind him and began to walk slowly toward the Impala. He felt like throwing up. Something he _never _thought he would feel in anticipation of talking to his brother. But then again, _nothing_ had been normal lately. Sam stopped walking a safe distance away from his brother's black car and readied himself for whatever was going to happen next. The area around Sam was bright from the Impala's headlights, allowing him to see Dean charging toward him. A moment later Dean stopped suddenly about ten feet away, his expression switching from one of determination to one of confusion.

"Sam," Dean said quietly. "You look…you look scared of me or something. You know I wouldn't-."

"Wouldn't _what_, Dean? Threaten to kill Ellen? Punch me? Say that you're _DONE_ with me? I don't know WHAT to think about you right now!" Sam shouted.

When Dean took two steps closer, Sam immediately took two steps back and shot out his right hand, palm out.

"Sammy," Dean said. "What are you-?"

"BACK OFF!" Sam yelled, a mix of emotions surging through his body now. "You aren't going to touch me or Ellen!"

"Okay, okay. Backing off," Dean said as held up his hands and took a few steps back. "I didn't come to hurt anybody! I just want you listen to me for a minute!"

"NO! I've heard you say ENOUGH tonight!" Sam yelled. "Just get out of here and leave us alone! Nothing you have to say will change my mind!"

"Look, I didn't mean for _any_ of this to happen! Things have just gotten so out of hand lately!" Dean explained in frustration. "I'm sorry for hitting you and I'm sorry about what I said before! I DIDN'T mean it! Just hear me out!"

"No. NO! You're just wasting my time and I _have_ to stay focused on the goal!" Sam exclaimed.

"What goal? To save the world? Don't you need a cheerleader for that?" Dean yelled back. "I mean Ellen's pretty for an older chick, but-."

"You shut up! You don't get to say your sarcastic jokes or give your opinion anymore, Dean, because _I'm_ done with _you_!" Sam declared.

"Why can't you understand that I'm just trying to protect you?" Dean said finally.

"I could ask you the same question, Dean. Now, p_lease_ just go away. I can't... take...anymore of this," Sam said with tears in his eyes, the whole conversation only adding to already physically and emotionally drained state. He turned to make the short walk back to Ellen's truck.

Dean was quiet for a moment as he watched his brother's retreating back, recognizing that he had to choose his next words to Sam wisely or they could be his last for a very long time. Maybe forever.

"Ask me again," Dean said quietly.

"Ask you what?" Sam asked angrily, his hand paused over the door handle.

"To help you," Dean answered.

"_What?_" Sam asked in disbelief as he turned back around to face his brother.

"Sammy, I don't want you to fear me and I certainly don't want you to hate me. I really am sorry for what I said _and_ did tonight to you and everybody else, but I was desperate! I..I already held you in my arms twice..._twice _as you died. Do you know what that's like?" Dean asked as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Sam studied his brother's face and saw the genuine emotion in it and shook his head no.

"I just wanted to keep you safe. The same thing that I have wanted for as long as I can remember. It's an instinct that I can't shut off, don't want to shut off. So, if you really are going through with this plan of yours, then I guess I have no choice. Please...ask me again," Dean said.

"Will you help us?" Sam asked a moment later.

"Yes," Dean answered quickly.

Sam nodded his head and after taking the remaining steps toward his big brother, held out his hand to shake Dean's. Dean pulled him into a hug instead. It was a rare gesture for the older Winchester, and Sam recognized that. Cherished it. He had his brother back.

"I hope that I _never_ find out what that's like," Sam said. "Glad to have you in my corner again."

"What you _should_ be glad about is my salvaging your rep by saving you from being seen driving around in that scrap heap Ellen calls a truck, unless _that's_ more your style," Dean said with a smile as they pulled apart.

Sam laughed and shook his head no.

"I'll go tell Ellen that everything's okay and that we'll follow her. You're lucky you finally saw the light, 'cause Ellen and I _so _could have taken you," Sam joked.

Dean smiled again too, but it quickly left his face when Sam turned away from him and back to the truck. Dean hoped that they all weren't making a horrible mistake. Oh well, Dean resigned, at least they'd be making it together. And maybe, just maybe, they would save the human race after all.

"Guess we're off to see the wizard," Dean muttered as he got back into the Impala.

**Sorry that this chapter was short. Thanks for reading and reviewing and I hope you check back later for the next chapter! Up next: Gypsy. **


	2. Shades of Gray

_**Then…**_

_"I'll go tell Ellen that everything's okay and that we'll follow her. You're lucky you finally saw the light, 'cause Ellen and I so could have taken you," Sam joked._

_Dean smiled again too, but it quickly left his face when Sam turned away from him and back to Ellen's truck. Dean hoped that they all weren't making a horrible mistake. Oh well, Dean resigned; at least they'd be making it together. And maybe, just maybe, they would save the human race after all._

_"Guess we're off to see the wizard," Dean muttered as he got back into the Impala._

_**Now…**_

**Chapter 2: Shades of Gray**

"Can you go _any_ slower?" Dean yelled sarcastically as he continued to follow behind Ellen's beat up dark green pickup truck. "An old lady with a walker passed us back there!"

"What?" Sam mumbled as he forced his eyes open against the brightness. He righted himself quickly in the Impala's front passenger seat, suddenly embarrassed that he had fallen asleep. "Where are we? How long have I been asleep?"

"We are about fifteen minutes away from the beautiful Atlantic City boardwalk and you have been asleep for..." Dean said while he made a dramatic show of looking at his watch. "the past twelve hours."

"The past _twelve _hours?? Why didn't you wake me? It was my turn to drive like...like eight hours ago!" Sam exclaimed.

"Hey, _I'm_ not the one who needs the beauty sleep. The ladies like _me_ just fine," Dean said with a smile as he slapped Sam's knee. "Don't worry about it. I'm too wired to have slept anyway."

"Didn't think you could go that long without food," Sam remarked as he watched the dilapidated buildings pass by. It was a dreary, depressing day and falling raindrops dotted the Impala's windshield.

"Actually, Ellen and I did stop for a bite at a diner early this morning. There are a couple of donuts in the bag on the backseat if you want it," Dean answered.

"And you just left me in the car like a dog?" Sam asked incredulously.

Dean laughed.

"Dude, I tried to wake you. I really did. But you were _out_. Ellen wanted to talk to me alone anyway," Dean explained.

"And?" Sam asked after a moment when his brother didn't voluntarily continue.

The smile left Dean's face as he thought about the uncomfortable breakfast he had shared with the older woman.

"It was...as good as could be expected," Dean answered. "I'll give you a quick recap of our sparkling conversation..."

Dean followed behind Ellen through the double glass doors into the nondescript diner in silence. After a young blonde waitress granted Dean's request to seat them in the booth at the front window, where he could keep his eye on the sleeping Sam, the pair sat down across from each other and picked up the plastic covered two page menus. The waitress, who continuously popped her gum loudly between chews, asked them what they wanted to drink.

"Coffee. Black," Dean answered.

"Make that two please," Ellen said.

"And keep it coming," Dean added.

After the waitress left, Dean decided on his breakfast and put down his menu. Ellen did the same. Still no words were spoken, and the tension seemed to grow thicker by the minute. The waitress returned with their coffees, took their orders, and left with a loud pop of her gum. Dean drank his coffee slowly, still waiting for Ellen to begin. He had no intention of making this easy on her _at all_.

"So, how are you?" Ellen asked awkwardly.

"Peachy," Dean answered.

"I wasn't driving too slowly for you, was I? Sam told me once that you like to-," Ellen began with a forced looking smile.

"Look, Ellen. You wanted to talk? Then _talk_. But skip the chit chat because I have no intention of wasting the little energy I have left on being polite to you," Dean said.

Ellen nodded her head in understanding and took a sip of coffee before beginning again.

"I wanted to first thank you for doing this for Jo," Ellen said quickly, as if afraid Dean would cut her off before she got the words out.

"Let's get one thing clear. I care about Jo, but I'm not doing this for _anyone_ but Sam. You got that? And if I see you doing anything, _anything_ to unnecessarily put him in danger because of her again, it will be the _last _thing you do. There will be no second chances this time," Dean warned.

Ellen nodded again and opened her mouth to respond.

"Your bond with your brother is strong. Unbreakable. I get it. What I _don't_ get is why _you _can't understand that the bond I have with my daughter is just as strong?" Ellen asked.

Dean's put down his coffee cup and leaned a bit closer to her over the table.

"I _do _get it, Ellen, but the thing is, I can't afford to care. This is war and I got to protect mine," Dean answered.

"As do I," Ellen said, her expression hardening.

Dean recognized that she was done trying to make up with him. He didn't care about that either.

"Well, then. I think we _do_ finally understand each other," Dean said as the waitress returned with their food.

"And we ate our food in silence. Then we left. End of story," Dean finished.

Sam sighed.

"You make her cry?" Sam asked.

"No, of course not. You think that little of me?" Dean said, feigning innocence.

"She make _you _cry?" Sam said with a smile.

"Shut up," Dean said as he shook his head.

"Dean?" Sam said as the tall casino buildings rose into view.

"Yeah?" Dean answered.

"Before we get there, I need to say just one more thing, and then I promise I won't bring it up again, okay?" Sam asked.

"Oh God, what now?" Dean asked.

"I'm glad that you didn't go away and leave me to a new, safe, and normal life. Because life without you would _not_ be normal," Sam said.

"What?" Dean said quietly.

Those words sounded like the ones he had said that night when he sat vigil at Sam's hospital bed. But how...

"I heard what you said...when I was catatonic in the hospital. I was in and out of awareness and I couldn't make out everything, but I understood enough. It hurt me to hear you in so much pain because of me. And...and I should be the one apologizing to you, asking you to forgive me for getting you mixed up in all of this trouble. I...I just wanted you to know that."

Dean didn't answer, but Sam saw his grip tightened on the steering wheel and his jaw muscles flinch.

"I'm going to park near Caesar's. You said that you saw this Gypsy broad holding a matchbook for that casino and I remember that Dad knew one of the security guys there. Let's hope that he's on shift and that she is a memorable compulsive gambler," Dean answered, and Sam knew that all talk of what happened in the hospital that night was over.

"Fan-freakin-tastic! Good old James got fired last year and no one else inside that we talked to remembers a woman even remotely resembling Gypsy!" Dean yelled in frustration as he and the others pushed through the Caesar's revolving door and out onto the nearly deserted boardwalk.

The weather had taken a turn for the worse and Sam zipped up his light jacket for protection against the gusty wind and now pelting downpour of rain. He felt exhausted and light headed from their late afternoon's work. He leaned against the building and closed his eyes for a moment in an effort to regain some of his strength. Without warning, a sharp pain shot up his back to the base of his neck and dropped him to the boards with a loan groan, capturing the attention of Ellen and his brother.

"Sam, what's wrong?!" Sam heard Ellen exclaim in alarm.

The unbearable pain stiffened and immobilized his body as if he was being electrocuted. Sam was helpless to move as flashes of red and black and the letter B stenciled black onto a yellow background filled his vision.

"Sam, SAM!" Dean yelled as he shook his brother's stiff body for any response.

After a few agonizing moments passed, Dean was relieved to see Sam's body loosen significantly, his eyelids blink, and his blue green eyes focus on his face.

"Just breathe, okay?" Ellen said gently from Sam's right.

"You okay? What the hell happened Sam? Did you have a vision or something?" Dean asked.

"There are better places to take a nap, buddy," Sam heard an unknown male voice say next. Sam's eyes followed the sound to his left to see an African American man wearing a big smile, a red baseball hat, and a black raincoat. "Like in my luxury car."

Dean helped Sam to his feet and was about to tell the intruding stranger to get lost, when the man spoke again.

"Can I give you all a ride somewhere? The first block's on me," the middle aged man said as he motioned toward his yellow three person rolling chair that was covered in plastic. Sam smiled. It had a large black B stenciled on the back! Jackpot?

Dean had forgotten about these odd transportation vehicles that littered the boardwalk, their operators offering rides to lazy ass gamblers for a dollar a block.

"No thanks. We-," Dean began before Sam cut him off.

"What's your name?" Sam asked the man breathlessly, still leaning heavily on his big brother.

"Rod," the man answered, confused. "Rod Bickerson. I'd love to chat more, but if you don't want a ride, I'll have to move on. It's slim pickings here today and I need to make a living like everybody else."

"Wait!" Sam said quickly. "We do want a ride!"

"We do?" Ellen and Dean asked simultaneously in confusion.

"Where to?" Bickerson asked after the three of them climbed in.

"Gypsy's place," Sam said gambling on the hope that this man was _exactly_ who they were looking for.

"Gypsy's? You mean the psychic?" the man said with a chuckle as he turned the rolling chair away from the building and started to push it from the metal bar that ran across the back. "I haven't heard that name in ages."

"You know who she is?" Sam said excitedly as he unconsciously rubbed the back of his throbbing neck. It and his back were so tight that he could not seem to relax into a comfortable sitting position. He felt Ellen's hand lightly rubbing his back and he appreciated the gesture. But it did little to ease the pain. He took a deep breath and glanced over at Dean watching him.

_"You okay?"_ Dean mouthed soundlessly to Sam.

"Sure. I'm probably one of the _only_ ones around here who does. She goes by Cindee the Seer now, or somethin' like that," Rod answered. "Changes her name every few years or so."

Sam pretended that he didn't understand Dean's words, and instead spoke again to Bickerson.

"Can you take us to her?" Sam asked.

"You betcha, kid. She's in one of the new free standing hut shops near Montpilier Ave. A few blocks from here."

About seven minutes later, Bickerson stopped the rolling chair in front of the last of three huts that were positioned near the street side of the boardwalk. A sign outside of the hut said "Psychic Cindee the Seer. Readings: One Dollar and Up."

"You guys take it easy, and if you ever need a ride, you look for me," the man said as they climbed out of the rolling chair.

After Dean handed him his money, he took off in the opposite direction calling out "Rides!"

"Let me go in alone, okay?" Sam asked, his tight back still causing him to stand awkwardly.

"No!" Dean and Ellen again answered simultaneously, although Sam recognized it was for very different reasons.

"Before you do _anything _else, you're going to tell me what the hell happened back there!" Dean demanded. "Did you force your abilities again? Because we could have found her on our own!"

"No!" Sam answered. "I...I don't think I did anything."

"Sam-," Dean began. "Missouri told you not to-"

"Drop it, Dean!" Sam responded as he rushed into the hut without another word, followed close behind by Dean and Ellen.

As they entered the small hut, all that was visible was a tiny waiting area with four black plastic chairs separated from the rest of the building by a thick purple velvet curtain.

A minute later, a woman dramatically threw back the curtain.

"Welcome! I am Cindee the Seer! I will show you your destiny! Your-." the Caucasian woman in the mid fifties with long black hair and large gold earrings said before she stopped mid sentence when her eyes fell on Sam. Her eyes widened in surprise. "I don't believe it!"

"Gypsy," Sam said as he held out his hand the the woman that he had seen in his vision at Missouri's house. "I'm-,"

"Sam Winchester," the woman said in amazement. "The stories _are _true! Hallelujah!"

"You know who I am," Sam said as more of a statement than a question. "Then you must also know that we need your help."

"You do, yes," Gypsy agreed, again directing her words to Sam as if Ellen and Dean were not even in the room. She was quiet for a moment, seeming to be studying Sam's face very closely. "Have you already begun?"

"Begun what?" Sam asked.

"Your evolution!" she exclaimed.

"Look, lady. We don't have time for this crap," Dean said as he pushed his way in front of Sam. "We-."

"Sam, follow me," Gypsy said as she held back the purple curtain once again. "The others may wait here."

"Dean?" Sam said after Dean did not move out of his way, realizing that they could _not_ afford to mess this up.

"Sam," Dean answered after he turned back to his brother.

_"Dean," _Sam pleaded.

_"Fine. _You have ten minutes," Dean conceded as he stepped to the side to let his brother pass.

Sam nodded and walked through the curtain. Gypsy followed behind him. With a yank, she pulled back the curtain from the other side, leaving Dean and Ellen alone. Angry, Dean sat down in one of the chairs and turned to the pile of magazines on the small table next to him. Every one was an issue of _Cat Fancy Magazine_ and none were more recently dated than 2005.

"Great," Dean mumbled with a big sigh.

"Please, sit," the woman said as she motioned to a small table flanked by two black plastic chairs set up in the far corner. The table was covered in shiny purple silk and it had a crystal ball on it that she removed quickly after she sat down. "This is just for show. The tourists like to see a crystal ball. Thinks that it makes me legit. Anyway, y_ou_ can call me Gypsy," she said. "I am honored that you are here."

"Uh, thank you," Sam said as he sat down, unsure of how to respond to that.

"Tell me what you need," she said.

"Information, I guess. My mother came here. With us. When we were little?" Sam asked.

"Yes. For a reading," Gypsy answered as her eyes filled with tears.

"Tell me about it?" Sam asked.

"Before she came to me, I was a fraud. I admit it. I saw a chance to make some easy money from gullible gamblers and tourists and I set up shop. Simple as that. But when she came to see me and I touched her palms for a reading, it...it was like a switch was thrown inside of me. I instantly felt that she had... had...been touched by great evil. That she would soon die. That... that one of her sons was destined to end the world and the other to save it," Gypsy answered.

"What...what did you tell her?" Sam asked.

"I told her that she would be blessed with long life, a happy marriage, and many children," she answered with more tears. "I'm sorry! I was terrified! I didn't understand what the hell was going on!"

Sam stood up from the table quickly. If only she would have said something, anything, would his mother have been saved? Would-

"No. It would not have mattered what I told her, Sam!" Gypsy said, as if sensing what he was thinking. "The events had already been set into motion. From a promise that she had made that could not be undone! After I let go of her hands, I was struck with such a headache that I couldn't get her out of the door fast enough. Didn't even charge her anything. I went blind. For a week!"

"You want me to feel sorry for you?" Sam seethed.

"No! I want you to understand the magnitude of what you are dealing with here!" Gypsy answered as she rose as well.

"Don't you think I know? But it doesn't matter! I have to know what promise she made! Lives may depend on it!" Sam demanded.

"Yes. Yes, you are right about that. I am so glad that the stories of your coming back to life are true. You have changed your destiny, and that is an amazing feat in itself, but not nearly as difficult as what you wish to accomplish," Gypsy explained.

"Please, what promise did my mother make?" Sam asked as he sat back down again, knowing that anger and blame would not get him the answers he desired.

"With that, _I_ cannot help you," she answered as she sat back down as well.

"But you know who can," Sam answered.

She smiled.

"Yes," she answered. "You can sense that. I know of someone who can read your memory."

"_My _memory?" Sam asked in confusion. "But I never knew what the promise was."

"I understand that. But we all hold the knowledge of our ancestors in our minds. I know of someone that can help you unlock your _genetic_ memory. Once we know of her promise, we can get started," Gypsy answered.

"Genetic memory," Sam repeated skeptically. "I guess I'm willing to try anything at this point. You can call him or her? Or give me the number. I can do it."

"Oh, sweetie, you can't call him on the phone, but I can help you _summon_ him," Gypsy said.

"Summon him?" Sam repeated in disbelief. " A _demon_? Forget it! Have you forgotten that demons are who we are fighting against?!"

"Sam, nothing is as simple as black and white. The world is awash in shades of gray! He is a demon, yes, but not like the others. I can't help you. But _he_ will. We can summon him together. There is no other way. We both know that we cannot begin our work together until we understand everything!" she exclaimed.

"But demons are looking for me. Want to kill me!" Sam said.

"They likely already know where you are. But they are not yet ready to attack. We must act _quickly_ to have you ready for when they are," she explained.

"How do you know? Why should I trust you? I don't even know anything about you!" Sam exclaimed.

Gypsy sighed and answered. "Your mother changed my life. I could not help her then, but maybe I can help you now. Please, give me that chance. I have been preparing for this opportunity for so long now. Something brought you here. To me. It is all as it should be."

"I don't understand _what _brought me here," Sam said.

"You don't have to! Still, the decision is yours. But I do want you to be prepared for what I believe will happen. I sense that you have already felt the effects of your abilities on your body," she said.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"You have great power, but I do not believe it is not in your _body_. It is in your _mind._ As I teach you to call on that power in your mind, your body will grow weaker. Both cannot be sustained simultaneously. But do not worry. I feel that the demon war will not be won on the physical plane. I know that this must be difficult to understand-." Gypsy explained.

"No, actually it's not," Sam answered slowly as he processed her words, surprising even himself that he felt ready to fully trust this woman. "It does make sense, how _I_ alone can win this war against so much evil. But my brother, Dean. He will not understand. May even try to stop me," Sam said as he remembered his mother's words. With a sigh, Sam looked over at the purple curtain. He was not looking forward to _that _conversation.

"Honey, no one will be able to stop you," Gypsy answered.

**Hope you liked this chapter. I'm glad I got it done, since my right hand is partially paralyzed from writing a ton of thank you cards for my recent bridal shower. Check back soon for the next update! You won't want to miss it!**


	3. To the Limit

_Gypsy sighed and answered. "Your mother changed my life. I could not help her then, but maybe I can help you now. Please, give me that chance. I have been preparing for this opportunity for so long now. Something brought you here. To me. It is all as it should be."_

_"I don't understand what brought me here," Sam said._

_"You don't have to! Still, the decision is yours. But I do want you to be prepared for what I believe will happen. I sense that you have already felt the affects of your abilities on your body," she said._

_"What do you mean?" Sam asked._

_"You have great power, but I do not believe it is not in your body. It is in your mind. As I teach you to call on that power in your mind, your body will grow weaker. Both cannot be sustained simultaneously. But do not worry. I feel that the demon war will not be won on the physical plane. I know that this must be difficult to understand-." Gypsy explained._

_"No, actually it's not," Sam answered slowly as he processed her words, surprising even himself that he felt ready to fully trust this woman. "It does make sense, how I alone can win this war against so much evil. But my brother, Dean? He will not understand. May even try to stop me," Sam said as he remembered his mother's words. With a sigh, Sam looked over at the purple curtain. He was not looking forward to that conversation._

_"Honey, no one will be able to stop you," Gypsy answered._

**Chapter 3: To the Limit **

"That's what I'm afraid of," Sam said, still looking at the purple curtain. "I get scared sometimes when I think about what I might be capable of. I don't want to hurt anyone or…or do the wrong thing."

"Others are feeding into your fear…trying to hold you back from striving for your full potential," Gypsy sensed. "Why?"

Sam sighed.

"My brother and a close friend of ours, who is also a psychic, are convinced that purposely summoning my abilities, rather than just me just managing them when they surface, is a dangerous and unnecessary mistake," he explained.

"They want to protect you. I don't have to be a psychic to know that. But protection is _not_ what you need now. You can't have anyone or anything holding you back from pushing your abilities to the limit, whatever that may be. It will be hard for you, very hard, but there is no other choice. There is too much at stake," she explained.

"Tell me about this demon," he requested, still unsure about her plan to help him summon one to read his genetic memory to learn of his mother's promise.

"His name is Botis," Gypsy answered.

"Botis," Sam repeated, trying to place the name. "The demon who is said to appear as a viper to proclaim the past and future?"

"The very one, but he possesses a human host these days," Gypsy clarified. "He is able to tell of the past by reading the generations of memory in the minds of those around him. That's what we will have him do with you."

"How do you know that he will help us after we summon him here?" Sam asked.

"I don't. But I have a trick or two up my sleeve, as I'm sure you do as well. Look, why don't we stop for now so you can bring your brother and friend up to speed? Dean's impatience and frustration is making it difficult for me to concentrate," she added with a smile as she took a pen and small pad of paper out of her front dress pocket and began to write. "Check in at this motel and tell them that I sent you. The manager, Manuel, is an old friend of mine, and will give you your rooms for free. Meet me back here at ten. I have much preparation to do until then."

Sam nodded in agreement. His mind was still swimming with questions, but he doubted that he could have processed much more information in his exhausted state anyway. Also, his throbbing back coupled with a headache made him welcome the chance to lie down before he had to come back tonight. Sam took the small slip of paper that she held out to him a moment later and silently read it.

___El Dorado__ Motor Inn. 2741 Pacific Avenue. Ask for Manuel._

Without another word, Gypsy stood and walked over to the curtain. She pulled back the heavy material to reveal that Ellen was pacing the floor and Dean was restlessly sitting, both looking _quite_ annoyed.

"Well?" Dean and Ellen said simultaneously, causing them to both look at each other and frown.

"Let's first get settled at our motel that Gypsy recommended and then I'll fill you two in," Sam suggested.

"Okay," Dean and Ellen again said simultaneously.

"Is there an echo in here?" Dean said angrily as he threw his hands in the air.

"See you later. And thanks," Sam said to Gypsy at the door as she held it open for them.

After Dean and Ellen said a quick goodbye as well, the three filed out, leaving Gypsy alone once again. She turned the _open _sign to _closed_ before pulling the door shut.

_**Forty five minutes later…**_

"Did you _see_ Ellen's face when you told her that you wanted to talk to me alone? It was the best!" Dean said with a smile as he plopped down onto the double bed closest to the door and turned on the old t.v., which wasn't easy as the remote was bolted steadfast to the sole nightstand of their Mexican themed motel room.

Sam lowered himself to sit on the other bed and sighed. Dean wasn't going to be smiling anymore when he told him what Gypsy had said and planned to help him do.

"You trust me, right?" Sam began.

"Oh, God. That's never a good conversation opener," Dean said as he switched off the t.v. and sat up to face his brother. "Spill it. And skip the build-up, okay?"

Sam stood and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Just promise me that you'll keep an open mind?" Sam asked nervously.

"Sam!" Dean reprimanded.

"All right! Gypsy said that we have to first summonademontofindoutaboutmom'spromise-thatmaybeattherootofallofthis andthen she'sgoingtohelpmepushmyabilitiestotheirmax tomakeafinalstand andwinthiswar," Sam said so quickly that Dean could only catch part of it.

What Dean _did_ catch, however, he most certainly did _not_ like.

"Say what now?" Dean said as calmly as he could, not missing that Sam was avoiding directly looking at him in the eye.

"We have to first find out about the promise mom made to whatever evil entity she made it to all those years ago," Sam said, more slowly this time.

"I already knew that much," Dean said. "But why did I hear you say _demon_ somewhere in there before?"

"Gypsy's going to help me…summon one, his name is Botis, so he can read my genetic memory that I have from mom about what her promise was," Sam reluctantly explained.

"Uh…huh. Botis. Genetic memory. Got it," Dean said sarcastically. "And what else?"

Sam, easily recognizing the signs that this conversation with Dean was not going well at all, was unsure of how to continue. His big brother would certainly not like the part about his pushing his abilities to the limit, or the expected detrimental effect Gypsy said it would have on his body.

"Sammy, what else? I know that you rambled on about a hell of a lot more than that!" Dean demanded, the familiar sensation of anger spreading through his body like wildfire.

"Dean, please, I just need you to stay calm and…and I'll tell you everything, okay?" Sam asked.

"And if I don't? You gonna start hiding things from me again? Hell, maybe I don't need to know anything else because you and that _proclaimed_ psychic woman that we have _just_ met have _everything_ under control, right?" Dean asked sarcastically as he shook his head in disbelief.

Sam opened his mouth, but shut it again. Between a rock and a hard place. Tell Dean and have him go ballistic or lie to Dean and break the promise that he made to him to be honest?

"What…does…she…want…you…to…do?" Dean asked, over-annunciating the words.

"Dean, Gypsy's not telling me anything that I don't already know, already feel! She's just going to help me get there. I know that you and Missouri don't agree with my pushing my abilities and I don't know how else to explain it to you. I'm _meant_ to have them, _meant_ to use them, no matter what will happen to me! I have to find Jo and I have to win this war!" Sam implored.

"First of all, change that _I_ to _we_ have to win this war. Second of all, what the hell do you mean by no matter what will happen to you?" Dean asked.

"Gypsy said that as my mind gets stronger, my body will get weaker. I can't maintain both at the same time," Sam answered honestly.

"What does that mean exactly?" Dean asked.

"Well, I guess it means that we better win this war before...," Sam said.

"Before what? You _die_?" Dean asked in disbelief.

Sam shrugged his shoulders, knowing that he could not promise his brother that he wouldn't be dead at the end of all of this.

Dean ran a hand over his face and sighed.

"I'm trying to keep an open mind, Sammy, I really am, but it's so _hard_ to listen to you be so…at peace with all of this," Dean answered.

"At peace with it?" Sam asked. "That's irrelevant-."

"Why? Oh wait, let me guess. Because God commanded it? You still pray every day too? After all the bad crap that has gone down?" Dean asked incredulously.

"I never asked you to believe what I do, just to understand. This is bigger than me. I have a job to do. I will do everything I can to keep myself safe, okay? I don't know what else I can say," Sam responded.

Dean took a moment to study his little brother's face. He could see the fear there, the uncertainty, the weight of the world.

"Say you'll tell me everything," Dean offered.

Sam nodded and took the next fifteen minutes to repeat his entire conversation with Gypsy.

"Well, it sounds like a risky long shot, but," Dean responded.

"But what?" Sam asked, anxiously waiting for the rest of his brother's opinion.

"But…we're Winchesters and what's a normal day without a demon or two?" Dean said with a smile. "Bring it on!"

Sam smiled and shook his head, immediately feeling some of the anxiety released.

"Deal," Sam agreed.

"So what's on the agenda until we have to meet with Gypsy at ten?" Dean asked.

"You can surf for your favorite voluptuous asian lady friends on my laptop, for all I care. As for me, I have _got_ to get some sleep," Sam said as he laid down on the other bed. He breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes closed when a loud pounding suddenly reverberated through their room.

"Sam? Dean! Can one of you please let me in and tell me what the hell is going on?" they heard Ellen yell through the door. Sam groaned, having forgotten about Ellen with everything else that had went down with Dean.

"She's with you. You talk to her. And do it in her room, okay? Judge Judy's on," Dean said as he plopped down on his bed again and turned on the t.v. "Love how she tears everyone a new one."

"Why can't you just give Ellen a break? Jo is her daughter! Hell, don't you think dad would have done _anything_ to keep _us_ safe?" Sam asked as he stood up as quickly as tired and sore body would allow.

Dean shot up from the bed, and had to hold himself back from his urge to punch Sam again.

"Don't you EVER compare dad to _her_! Don't even talk about her and dad in the same sentence! She is NOTHNG like dad. I don't trust her anymore and you shouldn't either. But because you think you owe Ellen, or whatever, you're blind to that. I'm here to help you and you alone. You got that?" Dean seethed.

Sam, his heart pounding now from his brother's reaction, knew not to respond. He shook his head yes instead, immediately sorry that he said anything. He knew it was a sensitive subject, but he just wished Dean could understand why he still trusted Ellen and felt compelled do anything to help her and Jo. He still believed that Ellen wouldn't do anything to hurt him. After all, back at Bobby's place, she didn't hand him over to the demons, right? Sam left the room, knowing that Dean would be no good to hear his explanation or to accept his apology when he got in a mood like that.

_**A half an hour later:**_

"Wow," Ellen said after Sam finished bringing her up to date about the meeting with Gypsy. "Sounds like you're facing an even tougher road than any of us could have imagined and I'm so sorry for that, honey. You've already been through so much."

"We all have. Please also know that I haven't forgotten about Jo and will keep you updated about any leads," Sam said before standing up to leave. He _had_ to get back to his room now and sleep or he would be no good tonight. But before Sam could say goodbye, Ellen put her hand on his arm.

"Thank you, but-. No, never mind. I shouldn't ask," Ellen said quietly after quickly withdrawing her hand.

"Ask me what?" Sam inquired.

"Um…Do…do you think you can…? Did you ever try to…look for Jo?" Ellen asked.

"You know I haven't," Sam answered, confused. "I was in the hospital before Dean took me to a motel and then we went right back to Missouri's before coming here."

"That's not what I meant," Ellen said.

"Then what? I-," Sam stopped in mid-sentence when it finally dawned on him what she meant. She wanted him to look for Jo in the way that only he could.

"You know I wouldn't ask if there was any other way. I just don't think I can function much longer without knowing…_something_. Please, can you at least see if you can get a sense if she is…if she is alive or…or-," Ellen said before the rest of her question was swallowed by a sob.

She sat down on the bed and put her head into her hands.

"I have no right to ask you," Ellen said, crying now. "I'm sorry. Just…just forget it."

Sam sighed and sat down next to her. His heart broke for her.

"It's okay," Sam said soothingly. "I'll give it a try. If I'm going to use my psychic abilities to help complete strangers, I might as well try to use them to help my friends first."

Ellen looked up with eyes glistening with tears.

"I can't promise anything, though. I still don't really know what I'm doing," Sam explained.

Ellen nodded.

"Thank you for trying, no matter what happens," she said.

Before Sam had to even ask, Ellen stood up and walked over to wait by the door in an effort to give him some space.

"I'm going to need complete silence," Sam instructed before beginning the relaxation exercises that Missouri had taught him.

He first took off his shoes and laid down on the bed. After closing his eyes, Sam began to breathe slowly and deeply. He willed himself to push all exhaustion and physical pain out of his mind. He was not surprised to find that getting into the zone this time was easier than it had ever been. It seemed the more he practiced, the easier and more natural it became. He didn't know if he should be scared by that or not. As feelings of relaxation washed over him, Sam felt the roadblocks to accessing his psychic abilities breaking down, including Missouri's warning of the consequences of what he was doing. Sam next thought of Jo and pictured her smiling face in his mind. He began to ask over and over, _"Where is Jo Harvelle? Is she alive Where is Jo Harvelle? Is she alive? _Once again, his vision went white and his ears deaf as he continued to repeat the questions in his mind…

"Sam, what is it? What do you see?" Ellen exclaimed, startled when Sam's body suddenly went rigid, just as it had on the boardwalk.

Sam did not respond. When blood began to trickle out of his ears and nose, Ellen knew she had to stop this, whether or not it meant losing the last chance they had of finding Jo. After trying in vain to wake him, Ellen dashed out of the room a few minutes later to get Dean. After she pounded on the motel room door, she was met with a very angry looking young man on the other side a moment later.

"Sam-," she said breathlessly.

"What about him?" Dean asked, annoyed.

The scream Dean heard through the wall from his little brother next door was answer enough.

**Thanks for your patience in waiting for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it and will stay tuned for the next chapter coming soon!**


	4. Watch Me

_Then…_

"_Sam, what is it? What do you see?" Ellen exclaimed, startled when Sam's body suddenly went rigid, just as it had on the boardwalk._

_Sam did not respond. When blood began to trickle out of his ears and nose, Ellen knew she had to stop this, whether or not it meant losing the last chance they had of finding Jo. After trying in vain to wake him, Ellen dashed out of the room a few minutes later to get Dean. After she pounded on the motel room door, she was met with a very angry looking young man on the other side a moment later._

"_Sam-," she said breathlessly._

"_What about him?" Dean asked, annoyed._

_The scream Dean heard through the wall from his little brother next door was answer_ enough.

Now…

**Chapter 4: Watch Me**

"Sam!" Dean yelled as he rushed over to his little brother who was now sitting up at the edge of the bed, his shoulders hunched and head down.

Sam's breathing was rapid and his mouth agape as if he couldn't get enough air into his shaking body. Dean quickly kneeled down, avoiding the splatter of blood that had dripped onto the dingy tan carpet. He gently pushed up Sam's head and his hair back, noting the tension in his neck and shoulders. Sam moaned, but did not yet open his eyes.

"Hey," Dean said as he quickly took off his flannel shirt that he was wearing over a t-shirt and held it to Sam's nose and then to his ear. He was relieved when he pulled it back each time and saw no new blood on the fabric. "Hey! Talk to me."

"Did you see her?" Ellen asked Sam tearfully, standing behind Dean now.

"No," Sam answered in a quiet, unsteady voice.

"See who? What-" Dean asked. Then it dawned on him. What Sam must have been doing. Because SHE asked him.

"You _bitch_!" Dean yelled as he stood up quickly and raised his fist.

"I dare you," Ellen seethed.

"Stop!" Sam demanded, in a much stronger voice.

Dean looked back at Sam, who now had his eyes open. In an attempt to calm himself, Sam closed his eyes again, the last of the unshed tears slipping down his cheeks, and began to breathe slowly and deeply.

"Need to get back to our room," Sam said after he opened his eyes again and looked up at his brother.

Dean nodded his head and in understanding that his brother needed his help to do so, assisted him to get to his feet. Ellen stepped aside for the pair to walk past, but Sam paused next to her before leaving.

"I'm so sorry," Sam apologized, tears in his eyes again, before Dean pulled him along.

She nodded and shut the door behind them.

After Dean and Sam walked back into their motel room, Sam suddenly wrenched out of his brother's grip and half ran, half stumbled, into the bathroom and slammed the door. Dean soon heard the sounds of his brother throwing up followed next by the sound of running water. When Sam emerged from the bathroom to walk over and sit on the bed, something else dawned on Dean. Like him, Sam had a very high pain tolerance. Sam wouldn't have had that reaction unless…

"You saw Jo, didn't you?" Dean asked.

Sam looked up at his brother and nodded his head.

"Is she…is she dead?" Dean asked.

"No," Sam answered as tears filled his eyes again. "But she wished she was."

Dean sighed and sat down next to his brother.

"Why didn't you want to tell Ellen that she was at least alive?" Dean asked.

"Because I don't think she will be by the time we find her," Sam answered truthfully. "It was…it was _horrific_."

"Did you see where she was? Anything we can use to find her?" Dean suggested.

"It was so dark that I couldn't see much, but I could _feel_ her fear and…and her…her _pain_. She _wanted_ to die, Dean. Wanted the torture to end," Sam explained. "I…I wanted to communicate with her, comfort her…but there was something else there and it wouldn't let me stay."

"What was it?" Dean asked.

"_The_ one that I have to defeat," Sam whispered, as if afraid someone else was listening to their conversation. "She told them things, as did the other hunters that they captured all over the globe. They're almost ready now."

Dean moved off of the bed and ran a hand over his face.

"Oh, God!" Sam exclaimed as he fumbled for something in his pocket for a moment before pulling out his cell phone."Did you talk to Bobby today?"

"Bobby's fine, Sammy," Dean said.

"We have to call him!" Sam insisted as he struggled to dial his phone. He rubbed his hand over his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision. It didn't work. His hands didn't seem to want to cooperate either.

Dean sighed again and slowly pulled the phone out of his brother's shaking hand.

"Look, I'll call him. You just get some sleep, okay?" Dean asked.

"But-." Sam began to protest.

"Jeez, you're stubborn," Dean remarked. "I can handle a phone call you know."

"Fine," Sam finally agreed before stretching out on the bed. "Wake me when it's time to go?" Sam mumbled before he quickly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_Later that night... _

"Why hello, Dean," Gypsy said with a smile as Dean entered the small building. "You are both right on time."

As Dean expected, her smile was quickly replaced with a look of confusion after he shut the door behind him.

"Where's Sam?" she asked.

"Oh, he's not coming," Dean answered.

"That's…not…we cannot wait! We must summon Botis tonight!" Gypsy exclaimed.

"I agree! And if what you told Sam was true, and this demon reads genetic memory, one Winchester son is as good as another," Dean said.

"No! It _has_ to be Sam!" Gypsy insisted.

"Why?" Dean asked angrily.

"Because if Botis won't tell us what we want to know, then Sam may be the only one who can make him! You won't be able to do it!" Gypsy implored.

"Watch me," Dean vowed.

**I hope you enjoyed this short chapter. Up next: Summoning Botis**


	5. Slowly and Painfully

_Then…_

"_Why hello, Dean," Gypsy said with a smile as Dean entered the small building. "You are both right on time."_

_As Dean expected, her smile was quickly replaced with a look of confusion after he shut the door behind him._

"_Where's Sam?" she asked._

"_Oh, he's not coming," Dean answered._

"_That's…not…we cannot wait! We must summon Botis tonight!" Gypsy exclaimed._

"_I agree! And if what you told Sam was true, and this demon reads genetic memory, one Winchester son is as good as another," Dean said._

"_No! It has to be Sam!" Gypsy insisted._

"_Why?" Dean asked angrily._

"_Because if Botis won't tell us what we want to know, then Sam may be the only one who can make him! You won't be able to do it!" Gypsy implored._

"_Watch me," Dean vowed._

_Now…_

**Chapter 5: Slowly and Painfully**

"I need you to answer one question for me before we do this," Dean requested as he and Gypsy set up the small table for the summoning ritual. "Why-."

"Why am I helping your brother?" Gypsy asked to complete his question. "You want to know this because you don't trust me."

"You don't exactly have a great track record. Remember my mother and you telling her that she'd have a long and happy life or whatever?" Dean reminded her with an angry glare.

"Look, there is nothing I can _say_ to change your mind about me, but after we work together tonight, you'll see for yourself that we _are_ on the same side," Gypsy promised.

"Lady, it will take more than one night, but-." Dean began.

"But you will do it for Sam," Gypsy said to again finish his sentence.

"Will you stop cutting me off!" Dean exclaimed in frustration. "And stay out of my head!"

"I don't read thoughts, Dean. It doesn't work that way. I read… emotions, auras-," Gypsy began to explain as she motioned her hands in the air before being cut off by Dean this time.

"Let's skip Psychic 101 and just get started, okay?" Dean asked.

After they completed the summoning ritual, Dean was not surprised to hear a knock on the door a few moments later.

"Looks like we have a polite demon on our hands," Dean said sarcastically as he left the back area to let Botis in through the front door.

After wiping away part of the salt line that stretched across the entry way and every window, Dean threw the door open. He was surprised with whom he saw standing there. "Ellen! What the hell! Get out of here now!"

"Are you _sure_ you want me to leave?" Ellen asked in a syrupy sweet voice as she turned her mouth into a smile. A moment later she blinked and her pupils changed to those of a reptile.

"Botis," Dean muttered, remembering that Sam had told him that the demon often appeared in the form of a snake. "Nice touch with the eyes, by the way."

"Found this body lurking around nearby. You know her, right?" Ellen's voice teased him as her hand ran down the front of her shirt.

Dean's jaw flinched, surprising himself that he actually still cared about her.

"I'll take that as a yes," the demon said with another smile. "Why did you summon me here, human?"

"Come in and I'll tell you," Dean said as he stepped aside to let the demon pass.

"Fine. But if you try _anything_, I'll kill her and _then _you. Deal?" Botis asked, reptile eyes glaring at Dean as he waited for the answer.

Dean, deciding against another sarcastic answer, nodded.

"Gypsy, who owns this place and helped me summon you, is in the back. Is that going to be a problem?" Dean asked.

"Please," Botis scoffed as he walked inside and through the purple curtain. "I already knew she was here. Just like I know a lot of things. That's why you called me here, isn't it, _Dean_?"

Upon seeing Ellen with reptile eyes, Gypsy visibly startled, but quickly recovered. Dean was impressed that she was keeping it together, so far. Botis sat down on one of the chairs at the small table. Dean remained standing, and after glancing at Gypsy, he began to speak.

"We need to know about my mother. A promise that she made when she was young that put all of this into motion."

"_All _of this?" Botis questioned with a smile, even though Dean recognized that the demon likely knew exactly what he was talking about.

"This…road…destiny….whatever you want to call it that has made my family, my brother Sam, so central in this war," Dean clarified.

"Why does it matter? You cannot win against us!" Botis exclaimed before composing himself again and returning the calm expression to Ellen's face.

"WILL YOU TELL US OR NOT?" Dean yelled, his patience growing thinner by the minute.

"I know why he hesitates," Gypsy suddenly interjected. "He cannot do it. The stories of his abilities are greatly exaggerated."

"You know _NOT_of what you speak!" Botis yelled as he jumped Ellen's body up from the seat like a marionette.

Dean smiled slightly. Gypsy was taunting Botis. Not a bad tactic with a demon. Again, Dean was impressed.

"I know what I see. What I hear. And right now, I hear _you_ stalling," Gypsy continued.

"You know what I think, Gypsy?" Dean asked. "I think he's afraid of his big bad boss reprimanding him in front of all of his other little demon friends if he helps a couple of humans."

Botis began to laugh, a deep, echoing sound that was even more chilling coming from Ellen's mouth.

"You will meet the great one before long, human, and then you can decide how big and bad he is!" Botis answered before he gave another laugh. "You think you are sooooo clever. That _you_ can persuade me to talk with mere words. No! I do what _I_ like, when _I_ like. But I will grant your desire to know this part of your pathetic history because _I_can," Botis agreed, visibly calm once again as he returned Ellen's body to the seat.

Dean sat down across from him as Gypsy remained standing against the wall. Dean was suspicious. This was turning out to be a hell of a lot easier than he or Gypsy had anticipated. There had to be a catch, right? Or was this demon really this easily manipulated? He'd cautiously find out what he needed to know and deal with any other consequences later.

"So how does this work?" Dean asked.

"I will put my hands, or rather your lady friend's hands, on either side of your head. Do not move or look away, no matter what, or the link will be broken. Not harmful to me, but could be quite detrimental to your cognitive functioning. Do you understand or am I using words that are too big for you to comprehend?" Botis asked.

"I understand," Dean said, choosing to ignore the demon's jab at his intelligence.

Botis reached Ellen's hands over the table to rest on each side of Dean's head just above his ears.

"We will begin now," Botis said as he locked his reptile eyes with Dean's.

Dean watched as the demon's eyes began to glow a solid green. As the color intensified, so did the heat coming off of Ellen's hands… and the pressure. Dean began to breathe heavily, trying to not let the discomfort that quickly intensified to pain break his concentration. Soon he found the pressure to be greater somehow coming from inside his head than outside.

_His vision blurred to black before clearing to show what appeared to be a narrow hallway with six closed doors. It was deathly quiet. As if watching a movie rather than having control to freely move about his environment, Dean was floated through the hallway to a doorway that opened on its own to reveal a small bedroom. It was dark, little light coming in through the draped windows on the right wall, but Dean could make out a figure in the bed that was flanked by a dresser and a nightstand. Suddenly, the drapes flew out from the window. When they settlted, Dean could now see that a person was standing by the bed. Male, Dean guessed. Dean was moved closer to the scene, but only a little. It was still too dark to make out the face of either person. _

"_Hey!" Dean yelled, not surprised when neither reacted. _

_Whatever was going on, Dean knew he was merely an observer. _

_Still as a statue, the figure stood by the bed as if waiting for something to happen. It was not long before the person in the bed stirred. Dean heard a gasp and then the person in the bed __switched on the light on the nightstand. It was his mother! Dean was sure of it! Maybe about sixteen or seventeen. She was as beautiful as he remembered. Dean's heart pounded and tears sprang to his eyes, ecstatic to see her again, no matter what the circumstances. He almost forgot to pay attention for the real reason he was watching this part of his family's history. _

"Gabriel_" Dean heard his mother exclaim after she shot up in bed. "What is it?" _

_Dean wondered who this Gabriel was. Not human or anything good, he was at least sure of that. It appeared that his family's connection to the supernatural had began a lot earlier than Dean had realized._

"_Mary," the man in a long sleeved white collared shirt and black slacks standing next to her bed said, "I apologize for the late hour, but it could not be helped. You must listen to me very carefully."_

"_Of course," she agreed as she reached for her bathrobe at the end of the bed and slipped her arms through the cotton sleeves. _

"_God is thankful for the assistance that you have already granted me and the other angels. Without your visions we would have surely lost many more, but hell's inhabitants continue to gather strength. Many things are changing. We are changing. We can no longer take the risk of directly involving humans," Gabriel explained._

_"Risk to whom? To me or to you?_ _I don't understand__!" Mary exclaimed._

_Dean's mind reeled with questions. God and angels? His mother actually believed this garbage? Dean acknowledged that a lot of things existed in this world and beyond, but angels were not included. The jury was still out about God. And his mother was helping them to do what exactly? Visions? Were they like Sam's? His father never mentioned any of this. Did he really keep so much of her past from him or did his father not know his wife as well as he thought? _

"_You must no longer seek out the supernatural or induce visions of any kind, let alone about demons and our fight against evil," Gabriel clarified._

"_I don't understand," Mary repeated. "You sought me out! And...and I have done nothing but what you asked of me! This is my fight too!"_

_"I know this must be difficult to comprehend, but you must_ _promise me that you will stop or-," Gabriel said urgently._

"_Or what?" she asked fearfully, tears welling in her eyes._

"_Or…or we can no longer watch over you or your loved ones," he answered after a long pause. _

_Did he have tears in his eyes too? Why? Dean wondered. _

_"Please, Mary, do I have your word?" Gabriel asked. _

_After a moment, she nodded yes and the tears began to silently slip down her cheeks. She didn't bother to wipe them away. _

_Dean wanted nothing more to comfort his crying mother and punch this thing for upsetting her._

"_We will no longer have any contact with you," Gabriel said. "I'm...I'm sorry." _

"_I'm sorry too, Mom," Dean said out loud even though he knew she could not hear him. Dean gasped when she suddenly looked in his direction, almost as if she heard him…_

_Without warning, Dean was abruptly yanked backward out the room, into the hallway, and then into darkness. The low hum in his ears intensified to a painful whine and he covered his ears in vain. He now again felt the demon's hands on his face before they let go. _

Dean fell forward before righting himself quickly. When the pounding in his head subsiding a minute later, Dean's vision cleared to show the demon looking over his shoulder behind Dean with terrified eyes.

"Why did you stop?" Dean asked breathlessly.

There was so much more he wanted to learn, _had_ to know, for Sam's sake and everyone else's. He missed the brief connection with his mom already.

"Because I told him to," Gypsy said with an odd tone to her voice.

Confused, Dean shifted around in his seat and was met with Gypsy's gaze. Her eyes were silver!

"Come _on_!" Dean yelled as he shot up from the chair to conceal him reaching into his pocket for his holy water. He was not surprised that his pocket was empty. "Don't you demons have _anyone_ else in the world to possess but people I know? Now who the hell are you?"

"The end," the demon answered. "For you and all humans."

"Oh, _please_!" Dean answered with a roll of his eyes, hoping to stall until he could think of a plan that didn't end with him dead.

"Have a seat, won't you?" the demon in Gypsy asked before Dean found himself being forced back down into the seat. "Botis, I'm not done with you yet. Don't go far. And keep the meat suit on."

"Yes, master," Botis said with Ellen's head bowed as he moved past Gypsy.

"No! Wait!" Dean protested, knowing that Sam would likely blame himself if anything happened to Ellen, but his lips were squeezed shut.

"No one asked you for your opinion, human," the silver eyed demon said before again turning to Botis. "If you try to run, I _will_ find you."

Botis nodded Ellen's head fearfully and with her head still bowed, rushed out of the room. A moment later, Dean heard the door slam. Alone with the demon now, Dean watched as the silver eyed Gypsy sat down across from him. When Dean found that he could again move his lips, Dean took a deep breath and waited, but he still could not move from his seat.

"Now, that's better, isn't it? Three's a crowd," the demon said with a smile. "Did you have fun on your trip down memory lane?"

Dean could have kicked himself. Botis was not the one who had been manipulated tonight. But would there have been any other way to learn the truth? Was it even the truth or just another trick?

"Pathetic. I can actually see your brain working," the demon said. "It's really not that difficult. Your God and your angels manipulated your mother's special abilities to use for their own gain and then threw her away like garbage. They never had any intention of protecting her...or your brother."

"Don't you talk about her or Sam!" Dean exclaimed angrily.

"It was a shame Azazeal killed your mother. He didn't have to, you know, but he thought it would be better for Sam. To make sure that he realized his true power. All mothers want their children to succeed right? Her life is a small price to pay for that," the demon explained as he stood. "Just like I think it will be easier for your brother if you and all of his other pathetic human connections are severed permanently. To prevent any distractions when your God and angels come for him once and for all. You'd do that for him, right? Give your life for his? You've done it before, why not now?"

"If you think I'm going to make this easy for you-," Dean seethed.

"Don't worry. That time for you is not yet here. I need you to tell your brother what Botis showed you. Tell him that your God and angels are not where his loyalty should lie," the demon continued.

"I'll do nothing for you, you son of a bitch!" Dean yelled as he pulled against the invisible bonds that kept him tethered to the chair. "I'll kill you just like the yellow eyed bastard!"

The demon roared with laughter. Suddenly he threw his hands to the left and Dean flew from the chair and crashed into the wall with tremedous force. Dean struggled to remain conscious. With a jerk of Gypsy's head, Dean next soared into the other wall, feeling the painfully familiar sensation of at least one of his ribs cracking on impact this time. His whole side vibrating with pain that shot throughout his body like he was being electrocuded. The silver eyed demon moved Gypsy's body to stand over Dean's writhing body. She crouched to his level and began to punch him with such power that Dean knew he was moments from blacking out. He actually welcomed it at this point, not wanting to give the demon bastard the satisfaction of seeing him in agonizing pain. He wondered where he would wake up. And what torture would commence then.

"He's...not...coming...tonight!" Dean yelled.

"He will...eventually. And you better hope that it's sooner than later," the demon responded before delivering a bone crunching kick to Dean's chest..

Dean was helpless to prevent the blows that began again from slamming into him at seemingly all angles, as if the demon had ten fists instead of two. He wondered if it would get to the point where he would wish to die as well. Despite the torture, anything was better than Sam coming here. He hoped Sam never would. Dean would not get his wish.

"Gypsy? Dean!" Sam called from the front of the small building.

"Showtime," the demon hissed at Dean with a big smile.

Before Dean could even yell a word of warning to his brother, the demon jerked Gypsy's arm and crashed Dean into the table, this time successfully rendering him unconscious.

"Gypsy! What happened to Dean?!" Sam asked as he rushed over to his brother's crumpled body.

"Oh a little of this and a little of that," Gypsy answered as she looked up.

Sam gasped at the color of the woman's eyes.

"What-," Sam muttered, momentarily thrown.

"Welcome Sam. I am so glad to finally meet you," the odd voice stated from Gypsy's mouth.

Sam slowly stood, his eyes darting around the room for _anything_ he could use to protect himself. He had been so angry that Dean had come here instead of waking him up that he had rushed here unprepared. Now Dean, Gypsy, and he may all pay with their lives.

"Don't worry. I won't kill you. Not yet," he said to Sam.

"Whatever you want, leave Dean and Gypsy out of this or else!" Sam demanded.

"You're in no position to make demands," the demon answered, obviously undistrurbed by Sam's threat.

"What _do_ you want?" Sam seethed, angered that he was again unable to protect those around him.

"You," the demon answered simply as he edged Gypsy's body closer to Sam. "But not the way you think."

Sam edged away from the possessed psychic, stalling for time. If Dean would just wake up, and they could have the element of surprise, _maybe_ they could finally get an upper hand.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"So much talk," the demon said with a smile. "It's your turn to listen now."

The demon suddenly charged, faster than humanly possible, and hurled into Sam with such force and strength that Sam felt the wall crumble behind him. His breath was momentarily lost and he attempted to take in big gulps of air to get it back. However, with each breath Sam inhaled, the demon seemed to press into him that much harder. The demon repositioned himself so that he held Sam against the wall and inches above the floor with a single grip around his throat. In vain, Sam flailed his arms and legs to get some leverage.

"Come on, this is _too_ easy. Maybe I am wrong about you after all," the demon said.

A gasping and gagging sound was all that Sam could manage in response. He knew that it wouldn't be long now before he lost consciousness...or worse.

"But then again, maybe not. I'm willing to give you a chance and wait this out. I have a proposition for you," the demon said, his voice still calm and his grip firm as if Sam weighed no more than a feather. "I will give you ONE month to work with this Gypsy, to finally find full access to _all_ of your abilities. When I come back, you will stop fighting your true destiny and join me in ruling all. All who you know will live and live well among us. If you do not join me, I will kill you and then all of them. Slowly and painfully. You know I can do it," the demon vowed.

"Sam!" Sam heard Dean yell, although Sam could no longer focus on anything. "Let him go, you demon son of a bitch!"

"Now, now. Such language. And you call _us_ uncivilized?" the demon asked, his hand still gripping Sam's throat.

Suddenly, Sam's eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp. With a laugh, Gypsy dropped him to the ground before black smoke shot out of her mouth and out the cracked window. She fell to the ground in a heap and was still. Dean desperately crawled over to Sam, ignoring the overwhelming pain that threatened to make him black out again.

Dean pulled at Sam's jacket to drag his brother's seemingly lifeless body closer, refusing to even think that he was dead. Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the pulse in his brother's neck strong against his fingers. A moment later, Sam's eyes fluttered open. Sam groaned and then began to cough and gulp in air, his hands reaching over to rub his abused neck. Dean again felt relief when his brother's eyes finally focused on his.

"Always with the choking," Sam rasped, managing a small smile.

"And crashing me into walls," Dean joked back as he helped Sam sit up.

"Gypsy?" Sam asked as he turned his head to glance at her.

Dean looked over at the woman, who had already begun to stir.

"She'll be okay," Dean answered. "But..."

"But...what?" Sam asked trepidly.

"They took Ellen," Dean answered.

Sam sighed.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and check back soon for the next!**


	6. Holding Back

_**Then…**_

"… _I'm willing to give you a chance and wait this out because I have a proposition for you," the demon inside Gypsy said, his voice still calm and his grip firm as if Sam weighed no more than a feather. "I will give you ONE month to work with this Gypsy, to finally find full access to all of your abilities. When I come back, you will stop fighting your true destiny and join me in ruling all. All who you know will live and live well among us. If you do not join me, I will force you to help me kill all of them before I kill you. Slowly and painfully. You know I can do it," the demon vowed._

"_Sam!" Sam heard Dean yell, although Sam could no longer see to focus on anything. "Let him go, you demon son of a bitch!"_

"_Now, now. Such language. And you call us uncivilized?" the demon asked, his hand still gripping Sam's throat._

_Suddenly, Sam's eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp. With a laugh, Gypsy dropped him to the ground before black smoke shot out of her mouth and through the window that was open a crack. She fell to the ground in a heap and was still. Dean desperately crawled over to Sam, ignoring the overwhelming pain that threatened to make him black out again._

_Dean pulled at Sam's jacket to drag his brother's seemingly lifeless body closer, refusing to even think that he was dead. Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the pulse in his brother's neck strong against his finger tips. A moment later, Sam's eyes fluttered open. Sam groaned and then began to cough and gulp in air, his hands reaching up to rub his abused neck. Dean again felt relief when his brother's eyes finally focused on his…_

"_Gypsy?" Sam rasped as he turned his head to glance at her._

_Dean looked over at the woman, who had already begun to stir._

"_She'll be okay," Dean answered. "But..."_

_"But...what?" Sam asked trepidly._

_"They took Ellen," Dean answered._

_Sam sighed._

_**Now…**_

**Chapter 6: Holding Back**

"So what now?" Dean asked as he momentarily paused his pacing and ran a weary hand over his face. "Should we run? Try and put some distance between us and Demon Doomsday until we can wrap our heads around what happened here tonight?"

"What happened changes nothing. We proceed as planned," Gypsy said from the table as she rubbed her forehead.

"What exactly _did _happen?" Sam asked Dean eagerly from his seat opposite Gypsy. "You didn't wake me up and I was late to the party. _That_ part I know. But _before_ I came? Did Botis show up and tell you anything about Mom?"

"It's crazy! Can't be true. I mean…angels? _Really_?" Dean responded, his last question directed at Gypsy.

"You believe in demons but _not_ angels? _That's_ the crazy part," Gypsy replied.

"Wait! Wait. What's this about angels?" Sam interrupted to ask the pair.

Dean sighed and recounted for Sam the memory that Botis evoked in him about their mother's bedside meeting with the angel Gabriel as well as her promise to him to no longer induce visions or seek out the supernatural.

"_Wow_," Sam whispered in awe. "Mom had psychic abilities _and _was working with angels? I don't…I don't know what to say."

"Say you don't believe it either," Dean responded.

"Why not? You know that _I_ have psychic abilities and God has talked to me. Why _can't_ you believe that Mom was psychic too and had a strong connection with God's angels?" Sam protested.

"Sammy, just give the God stuff a rest for a minute okay?" Dean asked, rubbing a hand over his face again.

"What do you make of this?" Sam, who was obviously frustrated with his brother, asked Gypsy.

"Well, for starters, it's believed that angels very rarely have direct contact with humans, let alone _seek_ them out for information or guidance. So when they do? You _know_ the angels are desperate and the psychic, in this case your mother, strong," Gypsy answered.

"And what would make angels desperate about anything?" Dean asked skeptically.

"The apocalypse," Sam answered.

"That would be my guess," Gypsy continued. "_Nothing_ else would seem to warrant angels receiving permission from God to interact with and endanger any of His humans. It wouldn't be long before the demons would get wind of it and either try to kill the person or turn him or her to their side to utilize the powerful psychic abilities for their own gain. And demons don't take no for an answer."

"So they knew about our mom because of her helping the angels? Then why wait so long to come after her? Because she wasn't using her psychic abilities anymore?" Sam asked, not noticing that Dean was fuming with anger now.

"Could be. But I'd put my money on another theory. Like many other traits, psychic gifts are often passed on to the next generation. And as your mother seemed to have been a very powerful psychic, the demons may have simply decided to wait and see. Certain demons are experts at spotting if a child is gifted, even before the baby is born," Gypsy replied.

"That makes sense," Sam said, remembering his vision at Bobby's willow tree of his pregnant mother's visit with the doctor who had actually been ossessed by the yellow eyed demon. "Go on."

"Some also believe that psychic abilities can be altered…changed from their original purpose while the child is growing," Gypsy continued.

"Could be why Yellow Eyes dripped demon blood into my mouth when I was sixth months old! I mean, we're now only able to develop my abilities as God intended because the demon blood in me was expelled when Dean shot me with the Colt in the Abbey!" Sam exclaimed.

"ENOUGH!" Dean shouted.

"What?" Sam asked, confused.

"This is all just guessing! We don't know _anything_ more than BEFORE Botis showed me this memory EXCEPT that mom _doesn't_ want you working with God OR his angels at the expense of YOUR life," Dean insisted.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Dean!" Sam exclaimed.

"Oh no? I saw in the memory that Mom promised to give up her 'visions' because the angels asked her to _in exchange_ for their protection that they DID NOT give to her OR to any of us! And if you remember, she also told met that she made a promise when she was young that she was very sorry about. She DOES NOT WANT you to sacrifice your life to build up your abilities to take on this demon and all of hell by yourself!" Dean yelled.

"Actually, I _don't_ think that's what Mom meant at all," Sam said to Dean calmly as he stood. "I think…I think she was sorry that she didn't _continue_ to use her abilities. Sorry that she didn't insist to the angels that she would help them despite any danger to herself," Sam answered.

"You HAVE got to be kidding me!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, you have the right to believe what you want. And I appreciate you giving me another viewpoint to consider, I do. But I agree with Gypsy. What happened tonight changes nothing. If anything, it makes me _more_ sure of what I'm doing," Sam said with finality.

Dean looked at Sam and then at Gypsy before letting out a big sigh.

"Let's just…let's just get out of here and when we come back tomorrow, we can-," Dean began, still torn between being supportive and not letting Sam endanger himself unneccessarily.

"Correction," Gypsy interjected as she stood up as well. "_Sam_ will come back here tomorrow. _Alone_. I can't afford him to be distracted by you hovering over us. Our work will be difficult enough."

"Oh come_ on_!" Dean protested.

"Dean, you know she's right. I only have one chance and one month to get it right or…," Sam begin to remind him before his voice trailed off.

"Fine, but I reserve the right to hover AND more if this all starts to go south," Dean reluctantly agreed as he stormed out the door.

"Sam," Gypsy said as the younger man too headed for the door. "I wanted to say one more thing. I'm sorry about your friend Ellen."

Sam nodded and stepped outside without another word.

* * *

The next morning Dean woke up in time to see Sam standing by the motel room door pulling on his jacket. Dean silently cursed himself for not being more vigilant. He hadn't even heard Sam get up. Upon further scrutiny, Dean noticed that Sam's bed looked untouched. He realized that he hadn't heard Sam get up because his little brother _hadn't_ gone to sleep in the first place.

"You couldn't sleep, huh?" Dean asked the obvious as he sat up in his bed.

Sam, facing the door, shook his head no, as he rested his hand on the doorknob. It wasn't lost on Dean that Sam was avoiding looking at him.

"What if I can't do it?" Sam asked so softly that Dean was unsure if he was talking to him or to himself.

Dean got up out of bed, put his hands on each of Sam's shoulders and gently pulled him around. He now realized that Sam hadn't wanted to look at him because he knew he would see the despair and fear in his face.

"Look at me. When have you ever _not_ done something you put your mind to?" Dean asked. "Huh?"

"This is different. This-" Sam responded.

"Is big. I know. But if you're half as stubborn as your big brother, " Dean said before pausing to smile. "...then I know that's not about to change now," Dean concluded as he dropped his hands.

"I'm uh…I'm going to get going, okay?" Sam interrupted, his voice tight.

"I can come with you, you know, if you want-," Dean offered. "Just because Gypsy said for you to come alone-."

"No, but I'll call you if I need anything," Sam promised before leaving their motel room. "And...thanks."

"Damn it!" Dean yelled as he punched the mattress. He didn't like Gypsy, let alone trust her alone with Sam. He also was never one to sit on the sidelines, but he'd give Sam his chance...for now.

After Sam shut the motel room door behind him and began to walk down the concrete path, he couldn't help but pause outside the next door. Ellen's room. He shook his head and kept walking.

* * *

"So," Sam asked as he finished sipping the hot tea that Gypsy had handed him. "When do we start?"

"We already have," Gypsy answered with a smile as she pointed at his mug. "But don't worry. It's just a special mixture of herbs to help you relax…help you focus."

Sam began to say that he didn't feel any different when it hit him like a brick wall. Gypsy, recognizing the effects, immediately spoke again.

"What do you feel?" Gypsy inquired.

"Light headed. Open," Sam answered honestly. He didn't know if that made sense or not, but it wasn't any less true. .

"Ready to get started?" Gypsy asked next.

"Yes," Sam answered truthfully as he closed his eyes. He could actually feel the exhaustion melting away as well. "Missouri taught me about relaxation too when she was helping me. But she didn't do it with any herbs…"

"Well, we're going to work on a lot more than relaxation to unlock your abilities," Gypsy answered. "Now, listen to me very carefully and do exactly as I say."

Sam nodded.

* * *

_Five hours later…_

"Why are you stopping, Sam? You're doing so well! We'll only have to start over!" Gypsy insisted.

"I just…I need…give me a minute, okay?" Sam managed to gasp out and he arched his back in absolute agony.

His head was _killing_ him, worse than ever before, even when he had visions. His body was _begging_ him to stop, the tremendous pain coursing up and down his back and spine tremendous. Somehow though, he felt both weak and charged up at the same time. Sam dropped down onto the nearby chair. He was getting scared now. Not because of the pain…but what if his body couldn't take it? They had only just started…

"You _can_ do this!" Gypsy implored, likely picking up on his emotions. "Try again!"

Sam nodded, again absently wiping away the blood that had been dripping from his nostrils for the past two hours.

"Why isn't this easier?" Sam asked desperately between rapid breaths.

"Because you are still holding back too much. I already told you that this will be beyond hard for your body, but _not_ impossible for your _mind_. Just let the fear go, let it all go, so we can keep moving," Gypsy reminded him. "Now try again!"

AFter a moment, Sam nodded in agreement as he pushed himself up from the chair.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone! Thanks for sticking with this story and I'll post again soon. **


	7. Just in Case

_**Then…**_

_**Sam's head was **__**killing**__** him, worse than ever before, even when he had visions. His body was **__**begging**__** him to stop, the tremendous pain coursing up and down his back and spine tremendous. Somehow though, he felt both weak and charged up at the same time. Sam dropped down onto the nearby chair. He was getting scared now. Not because of the pain…but what if his body couldn't take it? They had only just started…**_

_**"You **__**can**__** do this!" Gypsy implored, likely picking up on his emotions. "Try again!"**_

_**Sam nodded, again absently wiping away the blood that had been dripping from his nostrils for the past two hours.**_

_**"Why isn't this easier?" Sam asked desperately between rapid breaths.**_

_**"Because you are still holding back too much. I already told you that this will be beyond hard for your body, but **__**not**__** impossible for your **__**mind**__**. Just let the fear go, let it all go, so we can keep moving," Gypsy reminded him. "Now try again!"**_

_**After a moment, Sam nodded in agreement as he pushed himself up from the chair.**_

**Now…**

**Chapter 7: Just In Case**

It was already dark when Sam half walked, half stumbled out of Gypsy's hut and began to walk in the direction of the motel. It was still raining and cold, but Sam didn't mind, realizing the poor weather was likely the reason for the sparse amount of people on the boardwalk. God, he hurt everywhere, not just his head and back this time, and he was _beyond_ exhausted. Sam wished he could just beam to the motel, Star Trek style, instead of having to walk-

"Sam, right?" a male voice said from the left of him, interrupting Sam's wishful thinking.

Sam turned back to look and recognized Rod Bickerson, the African American man whom they met soon after arriving in Atlantic City.

"Need another ride, son? I'm going the way you seem to be headed anyway to park this baby for the night," he said as he motioned at his three person rolling chair that was next to him, "and would love the company. This bad weather has made for a lonely day."

Sam hesitated to give his answer, unsure if becoming more acquainted with anyone here was a good idea. Dean always said the less people you know the better. However, Sam was so tired and his body hurt so much…

"Sure. We're staying at the El Dorado Motor Inn. That is if you don't mind pushing my but down the boardwalk," Sam agreed with a smile.

"Come now. You'd be taller than most, but don't got much to ya. Hop in and I'll get ya as close as I can without leaving the boardwalk," the man said with a chuckle as he held back the plastic that rested over the rolling chair to keep any riders dry from the rain.

Sam walked over, hoping his slow gait and slightly hunched posture wouldn't raise any suspicions from the middle aged man. After getting in, Sam let his body sink against the comfortably worn leather of the long seat. It felt good to finally relax. _Damn_ good.

"You feeling okay?" Rod asked. "You didn't look good the first time I saw ya and you don't much look good now neither, son."

"I'm okay. It's…it's just the weather. Cold and rainy doesn't agree with me," Sam responded after a moment, hoping his answer sounded sincere enough.

"I hear that. You should come back and visit during the summer when the warm breeze carries the smell of salt water and the sounds of the crowds on the boardwalk for miles," Rod answered.

"Sounds nice," Sam mumbled as he felt his eyes begin to droop closed.

"One particular day comes to mind last June that everything just seemed perfect. It was really early in the morning, you know when it's really peaceful and quiet, but already warm? I could see out to sea for probably miles and the low clouds were sweeping quickly across the sky…" Rod continued.

As Sam listed to the man's soothing voice, he felt himself slipping farther and farther away, unable to keep himself from falling asleep a moment later.

"…And here's your stop, son," Rod said loudly, rousing Sam awake.

Sam rubbed his eyes and sat up, amazed that he had let his guard down so much as to fall asleep in the presence of a virtual stranger. He was even _more_ amazed to realize that aside from a dull headache, he felt pretty damn good.

"Thanks," Sam said as he stepped out and stretched. "How much do I owe you?"

"Ah, forget it," the man said with a dismissive wave and a smile. "I enjoyed myself. Not many people enjoy hearing stories anymore…much less letting me tell 'em."

"That's no way to make a living," Sam reminded him with a smile, feeling even more guilty now that he had fallen asleep while Rod was talking.

"Making a living and being alive are two _very_ different things, Sam. Remember that. Never let duty or obligations change who you are," the African American man said as he resumed pushing his rolling chair. "Have a great night!"

"You too," Sam yelled back before turninig to walk the remainder of the short distance to the motel.

"Hey," Sam said after he entered the motel room.

"Hey," Dean said as he stood up from where he was sitting and watching t.v. "How'd it go? You feel okay?"

"I feel okay. Just a slight headache which is nothing that a little sleep won't cure Anyway, I made some progress at accessing and heightening my psychic abilities, but not much. I guess it went as good as can be expected for my first time. At least that's what Gypsy said. I'm going back tomorrow to try again," Sam answered. "Did I miss anything?"

"No," Dean answered. "I've been here the whole time, doing research. Didn't find much of anything yet. Oh, I did talk to Bobby earlier. Nothing new to report on his end."

"Okay," Sam said as he glanced over at his bed. "I'm gonna hit the sack. Do you mind if we talk more in the morning?"

"Nah, go ahead. Like I said before, you _do_ need your beauty sleep," Dean said with a smile.

"Ha, ha," Sam said as he threw his jacket on the chair and headed for the bathroom.

Dean sat back down the chair, his heart still pounding, amazed that Sam had not caught him in his lie. He knew that Sam must have been bone tired, as his little brother had also not even noticed Dean's damp hair or clothes. Dean was relieved, not wanting to have to explain why the entire time that Sam had been at Gypsy's, Dean had stood outside nearby, even when the rain had started up again, and waited...wanting to be around just in case his little brother needed him. When Dean saw Gypsy's door open and Sam step out, he raced back to the motel to get there before his brother, knowing Sam would accuse him of not trusting him if he knew. He did trust Sam, but he was still his older brother after all.

**See? I promised I would get back to this story and finish it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	8. Hurt Yourself Trying

_"Hey," Sam said after he entered the motel room._

_"Hey," Dean said as he stood up from where he was sitting and watching t.v. "How'd it go? You feel okay?"_

_"I feel okay. Just a slight headache which is nothing that a little sleep won't cure Anyway, I made some progress at accessing and heightening my psychic abilities, but not much. I guess it went as good as can be expected for my first time. At least that's what Gypsy said. I'm going back tomorrow to try again," Sam answered. "Did I miss anything?"_

_"No," Dean answered. "I've been here the whole time, doing research. Didn't find much of anything yet. Oh, I did talk to Bobby earlier. Nothing new to report on his end."_

_"Okay," Sam said as he glanced over at his bed. "I'm gonna hit the sack. Do you mind if we talk more in the morning?"_

_"Nah, go ahead. Like I said before, you __do__ need your beauty sleep," Dean said with a smile._

_"Ha, ha," Sam said as he threw his jacket on the chair and headed for the bathroom._

_Dean sat back down the chair, his heart still pounding, amazed that Sam had not caught him in his lie. He knew that Sam must have been bone tired, as his little brother had also not even noticed Dean's damp hair or clothes. Dean was relieved, not wanting to have to explain why the entire time that Sam had been at Gypsy's, Dean had stood outside nearby, even when the rain had started up again, and waited...wanting to be around just in case his little brother needed him. When Dean saw Gypsy's door open and Sam step out, he raced back to the motel to get there before his brother, knowing Sam would accuse him of not trusting him if he knew. He did trust Sam, but he was still his older brother after all._

**Chapter 8: Hurt Yourself Trying**

Dean slept very restless that night, unable to resist the urge to look over at Sam's bed every half hour or so, even though he was able to see little in the late night darkness save for his little brother's still shape under the covers.

Dean sighed, wishing for the millionth time that they were back in Lawrence, Kansas working with Missouri. Maybe _she_ was safer with them far away, but _Sam_ wasn't. Sam's working with Gypsy _without_ him made Dean uneasy to say the least, as Dean was still unsure of her motives and abilities. Sure, he trusted Sam to take care of himself. He just didn't trust _Gypsy _not to manipulate Sam.

Dean sighed again, threw off the covers, and sat up. He wondered what Bobby was doing. He wondered about Jo and in surprise, just for a moment, he even wondered about Ellen.

"_This sucks!"_ Dean exclaimed in frustration as he threw off the covers, got out of bed, and ran a hand through his short hair.

"Deanwhatswrong?" Sam asked, his words slurred with sleep.

"Nothing," Dean answered as he turned towards Sam's bed. "Go back to sleep."

Dean smiled when a moment later Sam turned over and was quiet. Dean was reminded of his caretaking of Sam when they were little. Of the frequent nights Sammy slept while Dean held vigil over their motel room, holding a gun still yet too large for his little hands while their dad was away on a hunt. Dean smiled again. He wished Sam still listened to him like he did back then, without question. Not anymore, Dean thought as his smile vanished. God, he _wished _he still did. Then he could tell Sam that they were getting the hell out of here to go hide somewhere for a long time until this all blew over.

_The next morning…_

"You going to be with Gypsy all day?" Dean asked as he sipped his coffee, doing his best to sound nonchalant when he really wanted to know every last detail about what they were working on together.

It wasn't lost on Sam.

"I guess. You want to hear about yesterday, huh?" Sam asked.

"Or you can show me. Let me come with you today," Dean responded.

"I don't know, Dean," Sam answered. "Gypsy said that you would be a distraction-."

"Gypsy _said_, so you do it?" Dean exclaimed. "What else are you going to do for her without question?"

"It's not like that!" Sam implored. "She only has my best interests at heart-."

"Really? Then you tell me that it didn't hurt you last night, what she wanted you to do! You tell me that the headache was nothing, that you don't still have a headache now!" Dean yelled as slammed his coffee cup on the small table.

Sam sighed.

"TELL ME!" Dean yelled.

Sam paused another moment before answering.

"Just because something isn't…isn't easy…doesn't mean it shouldn't be done, _has_ to be done. You know this, Dean," Sam explained. "I need her to teach me. She is the only one who can."

"What about Missouri? Let her teach you!" Dean replied.

"No," Sam said. "She can't do it."

"Because she doesn't think you should force your abilities…or…or…hurt yourself trying!" Dean exclaimed.

"Are we really back to this?" Sam yelled, anger and frustration beginning to lace his words. "You said that you would support me!"

"Sam-," Dean began before he got cut off.

"No. NO! I NEED to do this and I NEED you to support me. If you can't, well then, get the hell out of here. YOU go back to Missouri!" Sam yelled as he snatched his coat off of the nearby chair.

"Where are you going?" Dean yelled. "We are NOT done!"

"YES WE ARE!" Sam yelled back as he threw on his coat and stormed over to the door.

"Don't you dare walk out that door!" Dean warned.

"Or what? What are you going to do? Beat me? Shoot me? Go ahead and get it over with because I have things to do!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean sighed.

"Wait. Just wait, okay?" Dean said as he grabbed Sam's arm.

Sam wrenched out of his grasp, but did not make another move for the door.

"I'm trying. I just…I can hardly stand it! This feels wrong, Sammy! Very wrong!" Dean explained.

"Please, Dean," Sam said as he grabbed his head, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath before continuing. "I can't do this with you anymore. I have to go. Just make up your mind already. Otherwise, don't be here when I get back."

Dean watched Sam walk out of the door a moment later, once again wishing Sammy was young again and would do whatever Dean asked.

_A half an hour later…._

"Sam," Gyspy began as she handed the younger man a cup of the special tea. "Maybe I have not been explaining myself very well…or rather what I need you to do."

Sam took a sip before looking up at her in question.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You do realize that what I am asking you to do is nothing different than you have done before?" she explained.

"What?" Sam questioned in bewilderment.

"Do you remember when you would have your visions…the altered state that your mind would go into to receive the messages? Do you also remember when you were in your coma like state and conversed with spirits including Molly and your parents?"

"Yes," Sam answered before taking another sip of the tea. "But I had no control when I would get the visions or…or what was happening to me when I was disconnected from my body."

"_No_ control?" Gypsy repeated. "Did you not tell me yesterday that you were the one who _regained _control of your body?"

"Yes, but-," Sam began to explain.

"Yes nothing. I've told you over and over again. You need to let go of your notions about what is humanly possible. Remember Sam, you are no average human or we would not be here in the first place," Gypsy replied. "It is really not that difficult to understand."

"_Not_ that difficult?" Sam yelled as he stood up quickly. "Really? Then you do it! How about that! You don't understand what it's like to be me! _No_ one understands! Not you or Dean!"

"I'm sorry, Sam," Gypsy said soothingly. "Please. I did not mean my words as you perceived them. Sit?"

Sam sighed and sat back down, although he was close to storming out on her as he did to Dean earlier.

"You have been there before, this psychic plane between the living and the dead. Once you command your abilities in this in-between place, rather than someone or something else controlling you, you will be unstoppable. I would take this burden from you if I could. I'm sure your brother would too, but we cannot._ You _are the only one. The burden falls on you as it always has," Gypsy said as she said down next to Sam and placed her hand on his. "Physically you will suffer, yes. But the sooner you understand what is possible, maybe, just maybe, we can control that too."

Sam nodded and put down the now empty tea cup.

"Ready?" Gypsy asked with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder.

"Yes," Sam agreed.

"Now use the frustration and anger you are feeling to fuel your drive to reach your goal today," Gypsy said.

"What _is_ our goal today?" Sam asked as he closed his eyes and allowed his body to continue to hum with the strong emotions.

"Today, Sam," Gypsy replied. "Today you will finally get to that place...the psychic plane..._and_ bring yourself back again."

_Four hours later…_

Dean lurked nearby Gypsy's hut, one of the few people out on that cold day who wasn't either rushing in or out of a casino. Dean shook his head.

_Dumb schmucks_, he thought. _They had no idea what was really going on in the world._

"I like this weather myself," a man's voice said nearby.

Dean jumped at the unexpected interruption, annoyed at himself that he hadn't noticed anyone nearby.

"Rod Bickerson. Do you remember me?" the African American man asked as he held out his hand for a shake. "Gave you all a ride?"

Dean turned away, keeping his hands jammed in his pockets.

"Not interested in a ride today friend," Dean responded icily before he began to walk away.

"You seem troubled, son," the man observed as he joined Dean on the weather beaten bench that overlooked the sand and ocean beyond the boardwalk.

"I am NOT your son," Dean answered. "Get lost."

"I must say that your brother is much more polite than you," the man responded with a smile, seemingly unperturbed by Dean's rude response.

"What do _you_ know about _my_ brother?" Dean seethed at the man.

"Didn't mean nothin' by it. Gave him a ride back to your motel last night is all," the older man responded before beginning to move away from Dean.

"You stay away from him!" Dean threatened as he charged back over to the man, his protective instinct taking over. "He doesn't need to fend off creeps like you on top of everything else!"

"I'm sorry that you seem so angry and that your brother Sam, seems to be dealing with a such a burden right now," Rod answered, the smile returned to his face.

Dean sighed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just…never mind," Dean said, surprised that he almost considered opening up to the man a little bit.

"Sometimes lightened the mind leads to a lightening of the spirit," Rod replied.

"Uh, I have to go," Dean answered with a last minute decision to crash Sam and Gypsy's party.

"Well, then, see you around," Rod said before Dean watched him resume pushing his odd form of transportation down the boardwalk.

Dean reached Gypsy's hut a couple of minutes later and pounded on the door. No response.

"Hey! Sam! Gypsy! Let me in!" Dean yelled.

Still no response.

Dean pounded again and waited.

Nothing.

After looking around and seeing no one who seemed to be paying him any attention, Dean pulled out his lock pick kit.

_Ready or not_, Dean decided, _here I come_.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I will post again soon and happy holidays!**


	9. Scared

_"Sometimes a lightening of the mind leads to a lightening of the spirit," Rod replied._

_"Uh, I have to go," Dean answered with a last minute decision to crash Sam and Gypsy's party._

_"Well, then, see you around," Rod said before Dean watched him resume pushing his odd form of transportation down the boardwalk._

_Dean reached Gypsy's hut a couple of minutes later and pounded on the door. No response._

_"Hey! Sam! Gypsy! Let me in!" Dean yelled._

_Still no response._

_Dean pounded again and waited._

_Nothing._

_After looking around and seeing no one who seemed to be paying him any attention, Dean pulled out his lock pick kit._

_Ready or not__, Dean decided, __here I come__._

**Chapter 9: Scared **

It was deathly quiet inside Gypsy's hut. As it was also fairly dark inside with the curtains drawn, Dean resisted the urge to curse when his leg soon bumped into a chair in the waiting area. After taking a moment to compose himself, he headed to the back of the small hut, knowing the pair would likely be there. He drew back the curtain and jumped. The little light emanating from a small candle on a table illuminated that his brother was once doing the creepy staring into space thing. Dean opened his mouth to speak when a soft "_shhh"_ came from his right. Turning slowly in that direction, he could see that Gypsy was standing only inches away, smiling with a look of triumph on her weathered face. _That _gave Dean the creeps as well, possibly even _more_ so than Sam. A moment later, Sam slumped back in his chair with a yell. As Dean rushed over to him, Gypsy turned on the lights.

"Yes! You did it! Right? You went to there!" Gypsy exclaimed with a laugh and a clasp of her hands.

"Back off, bitch!" Dean yelled as he turned back to Sam.

"Sam? You okay?" Dean asked gently as his little brother was drenched with sweat and shaking.

"Better, right?" Sam asked a moment later as a smile grew on his face as well. "It _felt _better."

Dean stepped back in annoyance as Sam first spoke to her, _not_ to him, almost as if he wasn't even there.

"How is this better?" Dean yelled, although it seemed no was listening.

"This is fantastic! Tell me everything!" Gypsy requested gleefully, ignoring Dean as well while she clasped her hands over Sam's.

Dean backed up against the wall, his anger growing in intensity when he noticed another usual sign that Sam had pushed himself too hard yet again. Blood! Tricking out of Sam's nose now. Did they even notice? Did they even care? Was he the only one with an _ounce_ of reason? Dean couldn't help but shake his head when his little brother absently wiped the blood on his shirt sleeve before absently putting his hand to his temple. Likely migraine as well. But none of that seemed to squash Sam and Gypsy's enthusiasm for his little brother's supposed achievement.

"It was…I did what you told me…and it happened! It was weird though…like I was there and I was here…both at the same time. But I was _definitely_ there. I could sense him there too, the silver eyed demon. And I think he was glad that I had done it," Sam attempted to explain.

"That should tell you something right there! If the spirit you're arming yourself against _wants_ you to amp up your abilities, maybe…I don't know," Dean said sarcastically. "Think for a minute, _why_?"

Still the pair ignored Dean.

"This is fantastic. I knew you could do it. How long do you think you could stay there if you really tried?" Gypsy asked.

"I'm not sure," Sam said. "The pressure in my head was intense. Hurt a lot. I think I would have blacked out soon-."

"But the more you practice," Gypsy explained. "It will get easier. You will then not only be able to go there, to this in-between place, but to manipulate the environment and anything or anyone in it as well. The possibilities will be endless. The power you will have-."

"ENOUGH!" Dean yelled as he grabbed Sam's arm. "We are leaving NOW!"

"What? Dean?" Sam asked in confusion. "I didn't even notice you-."

"Way to keep your guard up, Sam! This is not acceptable. NONE OF THIS IS ACCEPTABLE!" Dean yelled.

"You will never understand, will you?" Gypsy yelled back in frustration. "This is why you CANNOT be here. Not during this critical time!"

"Dean, please, let go?" Sam said, looking directly into his brother's eyes this time.

Dean sighed and dropped his hand from Sam's arm.

"Just listen to me, okay?" Sam insisted.

"Look at you!" Dean said. "You look…you look almost high! Don't you see what just that few moments of forcing your abilities has done to you! To your body? But you don't, do you? Or just don't you care?"

"Sam, let's stop for today," Gypsy said. "You can rest and come back tomorrow when we WILL try again and for much longer."

"You are not the one making the decisions around here, lady!" Dean yelled as he jabbed a finger in her face.

Gypsy only smiled.

"Come on, Dean, let's go," Sam said as he pulled on Dean's arm this time to diffuse the tense situation.

"Good night Dean," she said in a syrupy sweet voice as she stepped back to let the two leave the back room area.

Dean held his tongue from yelling more obscenities at the woman. Letting Sam pass first, Dean followed and the two exited the hut into the chilly outdoors.

"Can you walk back to the motel?" Dean asked.

"Uh…can we sit for awhile first?" Sam asked in a shaky voice.

"Sure," Dean said, resuming his earlier seat on the bench nearby.

Sam sat down next to him and was quiet now, the previous adrenaline obviously gone. Dean knew Sam must really be starting to feel the effects and he was sorry for him.

"I have to do this," Sam said a moment later. "I wish I didn't, but I do."

Dean looked over at him, noticing the tears in the corner of his eyes now.

"Even if that's true," Dean said as he put his hand on Sam's knee. "I just wish…I just wish that at least I could do it for you."

"I know," Sam answered.

"You scared?" Dean asked next, as they both watched the waves crash onto the vast deserted beach in front of them.

"Yeah," Sam admitted after a moment.

"Me too," Dean agreed, again remembering the silver eyed demon's words to his brother.

"_I have a proposition for you," the demon said, his voice still calm and his grip firm as if Sam weighed no more than a feather. "I will give you ONE month to work with this Gypsy, to finally find full access to __all__ of your abilities. When I come back, you will stop fighting your true destiny and join me in ruling all. All who you know will live and live well among us. If you do not join me, I will kill you and then all of them. Slowly and painfully. You know I can do it," the demon vowed._

"I just…I just don't like to see anything bad happen to you," Dean added, knowing he's said that a million times before.

"I can do this," Sam said softly.

'I know that too. I'm just afraid of what will happen do you after you do," Dean confessed.

"I'll be okay. Just like always. God is protecting me. God _and_ the angels," Sam reminded his brother.

"Here we go," Dean muttered.

"Dean, even if you don't believe, I do. I _know_. I'm scared, yes, but I _know_ He'll make sure I'm okay," Sam promised.

"What happened in there?" Dean asked as he motioned his hand toward Gypsy's hut. "Tell me _all_ of it."

"How did you know I didn't tell Gypsy everything?" Sam asked with a smile.

"Big brother's intuition," Dean said with a smile of his own.

"I trust her, I do, but I just needed to process it all first before telling her, that's all," Sam explained.

"You don't have to explain anything to me about her, Sammy" Dean said. "I don't trust her _at all_."

"Okay...well...the silver eyed demon was glad I had done it, that much was true. Glad I had reached the place between the living and the dead...a...a place that is not heaven, or hell... or even the physical realm in which we live here on earth. I'm not sure how else to explain it."

"Like purgatory?" Dean suggested.

"I honestly don't know," Sam said. "Many entities live there, good and bad. Whether they stay there by choice or force...I don't know. But the silver eyed demon? Him...he can come and go as he pleases. And he's much, much more powerful than anything else there. I think he wanted me to feel that."

"What else?" Dean asked.

"The silver eyed demon thinks I am the key to harnessing great power for him, just like I had done when possessed by all of the other demons before. He wants me to control all of the entities in this in-between place for him or...or else," Sam said with a shutter.

"Wow," Dean said in disbelief. "Demon army, take two, huh?"

"Exactly," Sam agreed.

"He's not going to let you go. Is he?" Dean asked quietly a moment later.

"No," Sam answered honestly. "That's why I have to do this. I have to fight him and I _have_ to win. There is no other option."

"The jury's still out on that," Dean reminded Sam. "Anyway, you ready to go?"

"Can we sit for a while more first?" Sam asked quietly without taking his eyes off of the waves.

"Sure," Dean answered. "Whatever you want, Sammy."

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I will try to update soon!**


	10. Let Them Come

_Then…_

_"The silver eyed demon thinks I am the key to harnessing great power for him, just like I had done when possessed by all of the other demons before. He wants me to control all of the entities in this in-between place for him or...or else," Sam said with a shutter._

_"Wow," Dean said in disbelief. "Demon army, take two, huh?"_

_"Exactly," Sam agreed._

_"He's not going to let you go. Is he?" Dean asked quietly a moment later._

_"No," Sam answered honestly. "That's why I have to do this. I have to fight him and I have to win. There is no other option."_

_"The jury's still out on that," Dean reminded Sam. "Anyway, you ready to go?"_

_"Can we sit for a while more first?" Sam asked quietly without taking his eyes off of the waves._

_"Sure," Dean answered. "Whatever you want, Sammy."_

**Now…**

**Chapter 10:**

_Three Weeks Later…_

Dean woke with a start, unsure of why, other than having the strange feeling that something was off…wrong even. Immediately his attention turned to Sam's bed, and even in the low light, Dean could tell that it was empty. When a shadow drifted across the motel room's window, Dean knew he'd found him. Sam was outside again, just as he had been the last few nights. Dean sighed and got out of bed. After picking up his shirt off of the floor and pulling it on, he padded across the threadbare carpet and out the door, shoes forgotten. Sam was now standing in the middle of largely vacant parking lot, looking up at the night sky. The lights that lined the motel's exterior made Sam's shadow on the pavement look as if he was as big as the Hulk.

"Sammy, come back inside. It's late and friggin' cold," Dean said as he unconsciously wrapped his arms around himself and shivered. It was a frigid night, and his breath formed white puffs in front of him with each word.

Sam did not answer nor turn around. Didn't seem to mind the cold, Dean noticed, clad only in a short sleeved t-shirt and jeans.

"Sammy, inside. NOW," Dean ordered as he walked up to his brother and put his hand on his brother's shoulder.

Sam ripped away from the touch as if it burned him, but still did not turn around. Dean sighed, but did not speak again, deciding instead to wait for his brother to make the next move. Dean knew he should be used to this by now, to _how_ Sam is now, but he wasn't. Dean didn't want to be. He missed his little brother and this person, this _shell_, who was standing in front of him now was hardly Sammy anymore. It made Dean want to yell sometimes, other times cry, and other times punch the hell out of somebody. It wasn't fair. All that Sam was doing was to save everyone else, and he had to lose himself in the process?

"Can't sleep," Sam finally responded, his voice breathy. Dean expected to hear that too, as Sam had been getting noticeably weaker day by day as his body deteriorated and his abilities more powerful, but it still killed Dean _every_ time. Killed him every time he had helped Sam back to their motel room from Gyspy's over the past few weeks- Sammy barely concsious and unable to stand, but with migraines so very terrible he was denied the blissful and healing power of sleep. Sam was usually in so much pain that he rarely slept, rarely ate, or did anything _human_ anymore. And the things Sammy could do with his mind now? Sometimes Dean wondered if he _was_ still human and _that_ was as scary as hell

Dean willed himself not to get upset in front of his brother and spoke instead.

"Why?" Dean asked, although he could guess at the answer.

"Dean, I just don't understand...why...why won't God talk to me anymore?" Sam asked as he turned around.

Tears filled his haunted eyes, the dark circles in stark contrast to Sam's pale skin that almost seemed to glow in the moonlight.

Dean sighed again. He no longer questioned Sam about his "conversations" with God.

"Did I do something wrong?" Sam continued before his voice caught in a sob.

"Come back inside, okay?" Dean repeated gently because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Sam appeared to be studying Dean's face for a moment longer before turning away from him once again.

"How much longer is this going to go on?" Dean asked softly, more to himself than to his brother. Sam had already stopped listening anyway, his hands clasped and head lowered in prayer.

Dean wanted to shake Sam back to normal, to get some kind of reaction, _anything_. Instead, he took off his zippered sweatshirt and wrapped it around his little brother's shoulders. Fifteen minutes later Sam allowed his brother to turn and guide him back into their motel room. After Dean finally got Sam back into bed, Dean stood vigil at the window. He jumped when his cell phone buzzed on the table a few minutes later. He picked it up and looked at the caller ID information. It was Bobby. Guess he couldn't sleep either.

"Hey, Dean," Bobby said. "Thought you'd be up. How's Sam?"

"There are no words, Bobby. No words. But it's getting close," Dean said wearily. "Only a few more days and this will all be over. One way or the other."

"It's that bad, huh?" Bobby asked, reading between the lines. "I'm sorry, kid. I really am. How are you holding up through all of this?"

"Me?" Dean said in surprise. "Hanging in there, I guess, but it doesn't cross my mind to think about that."

"Just don't forget to take care of yourself too, okay?" Bobby asked.

"Okay, mom," Dean said with a smile.

"All right, all right," Bobby said with a chuckle. "I'm done. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm close. Thought it would be good for me to be there for the big show down. Hell, I was there at the last one in the Abbey, huh? Hopefully I can be of more help this time."

"I don't think there is anything _either_ of us will be able to do when Sam fights the silver eyed demon," Dean remarked. "How are things on your end?"

"As for Ellen and Jo...the trail is ice cold. The demon bastard is good, I'll give him that," Bobby said. "Otherwise as far as our demon friends? It's dead quiet. And you know quiet is _never_ good."

"See you soon," Dean said into the phone as there wasn't anything left to say.

"Yeah," Bobby said before hanging up.

Dean was glad that Bobby was on the way. He would welcome his support, especially if the end is near. Dean sat down at the table to watch Sam, not wanting to take the chance that his little brother would go on another field trip outside. When Dean felt tears on his cheeks, he let them come.

As he held vigil over Sam, who was finally asleep now or more likely passed out from sheer exhaustion, Dean remembered next the last time he and Sam were in a very similar situation back at the hospital, when Sam was in a coma following the shooting at the Abbey. Funny how it seemed like ages ago…

_Dean again glanced up at the round wall clock. Two and a half hours had crept by and he was relieved that Sam still appeared to be deep in sleep. Dean, however, was __quite__ on edge, his bouncing leg betraying his agitation. He __really__ needed someone to talk to right now and an unconscious Sam would have to do._

_"Well, Sam, here we are again," Dean whispered. "You, mixed up in a whole lot of trouble, and me, always at least two steps behind trying to save you. I am __so__ sorry. I really am. I hope you know that."_

_Dean felt the tears coming and decided once and for all to just let them come. He usually denied himself any release of emotion other than anger, but so much had been building up inside of him for so long now. There was no one around. No one would know._

_"I hope someday you can forgive me, Sammy. I promised to protect you and I've been doing a pretty crappy job of it. Just dumb luck that I didn't get you killed years ago. I need to do better. From now on, I promise you that I __will__ do better," Dean said quietly, wiping away the flowing tears with his free hand._

_"When you wake up and when you get all better, you're done. No more hunting for you. You'll go back to school, you'll find a girl, and you'll raise a couple of kids. That's what I want for you, Sam. That's what Mom and Dad would have wanted too. And I'll...I'll go away. Leave you to your new, safe, and __normal__ life. That's how I can best protect you. I know that now. By just leaving you the hell alone. You may not understand at first, and it won't mean that I don't love you. You'll always be my little brother."_

"Funny how history repeats itself, Sammy, huh? Funny also, how we don't always learn from our mistakes. I hope I am _not_ making a mistake here, letting you go through with this fight with the silver eyed demon. Don't make me regret this, please, _don't."_

Dean sat back in his chair and continued to watch his little brother as other memories began flooding back.

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing. Will update soon! The end to the story is close!**_


	11. Opposite of Good

_The story so far…_

_"Funny how history repeats itself, Sammy, huh? Funny also, how we don't always learn from our mistakes. I hope I am __not__ making a mistake here, letting you go through with this fight with the silver eyed demon. Don't make me regret this, please, __don't."_

_Dean sat back in his chair and continued to watch his little brother as other memories began flooding back._

_Now…_

Chapter 11: Opposite of Good

_**A few days later…**_

"I'll take up watch, Dean. Get some rest," Bobby offered to the younger man.

Dean looked from Sam, who was slowly pacing the other side of the motel room like a caged animal, to Bobby and then back to Sam again.

"That's okay. I'm good," Dean said, grimacing at the gravely sound of his voice that indicated he was_ quite_ the opposite of good.

Bobby smiled.

"Even _you_ don't believe that, you igit. Don't worry. I'm trustworthy. I'll even show you my babysitting references if you want," Bobby said with another smile as he clutched Dean's shoulder and half steered, half pushed him toward one of the double beds.

Dean gave a smile of defeat, dropped onto the bed and was asleep in seconds.

"I'm glad…you…got him to finally sleep," Sam said with much effort.

"I'd be happy if you'd do the same, kid," Bobby replied.

Sam gave a weak smile.

"Sleeping...sleeping does not offer me any relief, Bobby," Sam explained sadly.

"What does?" Bobby asked.

Sam smiled again at his friend.

"Nothing," he answered Bobby with surprising calm and acceptance as he resumed his pacing.

_**A week and a half later…**_

"Tonight," Sam gasped suddenly after he had been staring into space for some time.

"What?" Dean asked in shock as he and Bobby put down their coffee cups. Sam rarely spoke anymore that Dean had almost forgotten what his voice sounded like. He sure missed it.

"It's time," Sam said softly with obvious relief. "This...this will all be over tonight."

"How do you know?" Dean asked as Bobby motioned for the waitress to bring their check.

"They...they told me," Sam whispered.

"Who?" Dean asked. "When?"

"My friends. Just now," Sam answered matter of factly.

"Wait. What friends?" Dean asked in confusion until the answer dawned on him. "You mean spirits? The...the _dead_?"

"Yeah," Sam confirmed as he gripped the booth's tabletop as leverage to stand.

"You really need to get out more kid," Bobby joked.

"Forget the bill," the waitress said from the behind the counter after watching Sam. "I hope your friend gets better."

Dean shrugged his shoulders and took one last sip before getting out of the booth to help Sam out of the diner. Rod was waiting for them right the door with his push car on the boardwalk, just as he had done every morning to take him to Gypsy's.

"Not...not today," Sam said with a weak smile at the older African American man.

"Whatever you say, Sam. You want me to tell Gypsy?" the man asked helpfully.

"No. She'll...figure it out. Thanks, Rod. For...for everything," Sam said with another weak smile as he leaned on Dean for a moment to catch his breath.

"Now that sure sounds like you guys are moving on," Rod noted.

"Something like that," Dean replied.

"Well, take care. All of you," Rod said with a smile and a wave as he began to move his push car in the opposite direction. "Atlantic City…and probably me too…will be here if you ever get the hankering to visit again."

"What now?" Bobby asked the youngest Winchester when the three men were alone again.

"He'll let me know….not sure when or where yet…but it will be soon," Sam answered.

"Super," Dean mumbled as he and Bobby resumed helping Sam the short distance back to the motel.

**_Much later that night… _**

"Now!" Sam exclaimed from where he was sitting up on the bed staring into space again. It irked and scared Dean how easily Sam could slip between the present and the spirit world lately, most of the time without Dean even noticing. Dean wondered if Sam spent more time there than not.

Bobby and Dean stood up from their seats at the small table in the motel room where they had been sitting in silence.

"What and where?" Dean asked next. "And tell me _exactly_ what's going to go down. I want to be as prepared as we can."

"Take me out…where the sand meets the ocean…as soon as we boardwalk begins," Sam described.

"That's the _where_ part. What about the _what_ part? Give me something!" Dean said with frustration.

"Since I'm not going to...join him…he's going to…fight me, of course," Sam replied, grimacing in pain as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

"You ready for that? Because you sure as hell don't look it. The waitress this morning thought you were like a freakin' cancer patient or something for crying out loud…and I don't blame her!" Dean yelled.

"It's okay, Dean… It's all going to be okay. My strength is up here," Sam said as he tapped his temple.

"Super," Dean repeated sarcastically for the second time that day.

**_A half an hour later..._**

"Now what?" Dean asked as the three men stood on the dark and empty beach.

"We...we wait," Sam answered as he looked up to the sky and closed his eyes, his hair whipping about his face in the strong wind.

"What if...what if I change my mind about all of this?" Dean asked Sam.

"About what?" Sam asked as he opened his eyes and looked to his older brother in confusion.

"My helping you. To...to letting you go through with this suicide plan!" Dean implored as he threw his hands in the air.

"Dean-," Sam began.

"No. NO! I_ sure_ as hell don't want any more speeches from you, Sam, about how all of this is okay! IT'S NOT FREAKIN' OKAY! _I'M_ NOT FREAKIN' READY FOR THIS! HOW ABOUT THAT!" Dean yelled, feeling the anger and fear beginning to erupt out of him once again.

"Dean!" Bobby reprimanded. "Lay off the kid! This is hard enough as it is!"

"Sorry, _so_ sorry," Dean said sarcastically. "Don't mean to be selfish here and care if my only brother is about to die!"

"I'm not going to die, Dean," Sam replied calmly.

"So you keep saying! How about we _not_ take that chance, huh? HOW ABOUT THAT?" Dean yelled.

"Look," Sam finally answered, tears in his eyes. "You know...you know this...this is how it has to be. It...it sucks, I know...believe me, I know. But it won't do any good to try and fight what...what has to happen. At least...at least when this is over...I won't hurt anymore. And for me? Not hurting anymore? That...that will be big."

It was Dean's turn to be silent for a moment, realizing that as much emotional pain and fear he was feeling at that moment, Sam was feeling ten times that amount physically _and_ emotionally, maybe a hundred times. Saving the world Dean didn't care much about anymore. His brother not feeling pain? Dean _did_ care about that. A hell of alot.

"That's big for me too, Sam," Dean said as he walked over to his brother to offer him any comfort and support he could at that moment.

"I...I know that this will never be...be-," Sam began before he stopped mid-sentence and looked at something past Dean and Bobby.

"What is it, Sam?" Bobby asked.

"He's here," Sam whispered.


	12. Last Chance to Get Out

_The story so far…_

_"Look," Sam finally answered, tears in his eyes. "You know...you know this...this is how it has to be. It...it sucks, I know...believe me, I know. But it won't do any good to try and fight what...what has to happen. At least...at least when this is over...I won't hurt anymore. And for me? Not hurting anymore? That...that will be big."_

_It was Dean's turn to be silent for a moment, realizing that as much emotional pain and fear he was feeling at that moment, Sam was feeling ten times that amount physically __and__ emotionally, maybe a hundred times. Saving the world Dean didn't care much about anymore. His brother not feeling pain? Dean __did__ care about that. A hell of alot._

_"That's big for me too, Sam," Dean said as he walked over to his brother to offer him any comfort and support he could at that moment._

_"I...I know that this will never be...be-," Sam began before he stopped mid-sentence and looked at something past Dean and Bobby._

_"What is it, Sam?" Bobby asked_.

_"He's here," Sam whispered._

Now…

Chapter 12: Last Chance to Get Out 

Dean and Bobby quickly turned around to see three dark figures walking toward them where the beach was vacant a few moments before.

"Last...chance to get out...of here," Sam muttered to the other two men.

"I could say the same to you," Dean replied.

"Like hell we're leaving you kid," Bobby replied to Sam and Dean nodded in agreement.

The youngest Winchester glanced quickly at the faces of Dean and Bobby where he saw fear, but hope as well. That was his fault. Sam knew that. He shouldn't have made any promises to Dean, to Bobby either, that this would all be okay in the end. Sam did have little doubt he could kill the silver eyed demon, but he also had little doubt that he would survive it. Sam was surprised to realize that his relief that this would all finally be over overshadowed the absolute terror he knew should be feeling right now.

"_Really_?" Dean mumbled sarcastically as the faces of the people now came into view.

Ellen and Jo were among the threesome. Dean tried hard to cover up the shock of seeing Jo. She didn't look good. Not good at _all_. Her eyes and cheeks were bruised and her hair hung limply around her gaunt face. And Ellen? How can anyone look good with silver demon eyes?

"Sam," the silver eyed demon greeted with a smile on Ellen's lips as Jo and the other man who Sam did not recognize stopped a few feet behind her. "So _very_ nice to see you in person. I've heard that you've…been busy."

"So have you," Sam countered, remembering the horror stories his spirit friends had been telling him of the torture the silver eyed demon dealt to the living and the dead.

"Don't want to get soft," he replied in Ellen's voice.

"Why...why did you want to meet here on the beach?" Sam asked, genuinely interested in the response. "You know our fight will not be played out on this...physical plane."

"Look at you," the demon complimented, putting another amused smile on Ellen's face before parting her lips to laugh. "So comfortable shifting between here and the spirit realm. Hmm? But too, _too_ very bad to hear that you _do_ plan to fight me after all. I was_ so_ looking forward to our working together."

"You didn't answer my question," Sam said with more energy than Dean had seen in a long time. "Why did you want to meet here?"

"I've always loved the uncontrollable and unmatched power of the seemingly endless ocean. Reminds me alot of myself. Also thought a reunion between you and your friends would be appreciated, but now with your choice to go against me… makes it most convenient when I begin to kill them all as your punishment," the demon answered.

Sam laughted and Dean and Bobby exchanged a quick glance in confusion at the sudden outburst.

"You are arrogant and stupid," Sam said with an unwavering glare at the demon. "You and I _both_ know that Ellen and Jo are already dead."

Dean and Bobby both gasped in shocked horror at the revelation.

"_What_ do you know?" the demon asked with significantly less amusement this time.

"Who do you think are two of my two biggest supporters? They told me all about you. All about your _weaknesses_," Sam added with another smile.

"We'll see who the weak one is," the demon replied. "You have learned some, yes. But enough to kill me? Most definitely _not_."

The smile left Sam's face and Dean and Bobby watched him lower his arms to his sides before balling his hands into fists.

"Enough of the stalling!" Sam yelled.

"Fine," the demon agreed.

"Sam," Dean said as he put a hand on his brother's shoulder, the fear for his brother unbearable intense.

"It's okay, Dean," Sam said still without taking his eyes off of the demon's silver ones. "You'll be proud of what I can do."

Before Dean could respond, Sam closed his eyes and collapsed. Before Dean and Bobby could even come to his aid, billowing black smoke simultaneously shot out of Ellen, Jo, and the unnamed man before those bodies too fell to the ground. After Dean moved his hand away that had been shielding his face from the rapidly exiting demon smoke, he felt frozen with shock for a moment as he stared at the unmoving bodies of his little brother and two friends.

"What the hell just happened? Is it over already?" Bobby asked in rapid succession.

"I don't think so," Dean said as he quickly knelt down next to Sam and pulled his brother's head into his lap, confirming with incredible relief that he was still breathing strongly. "Sam had told me a few days ago that he has to be as disconnected as possible from his body, from his physical state, in order to best and most completely enter the spirit world. He can do it instantly now. I assume the demons can't return to that realm either if still possessing a person."

"Oh," Bobby said softly before slowly walking over to Ellen and putting his fingers to her neck before turning to her daughter's crumpled body to do the same. Dean knew why Bobby hesitated because they both knew what he would find. Or rather _not_ find, Dean thought sadly.

"Ellen and Jo?" Dean asked in a voice almost as soft as a whisper, noticing now that the tears in his eyes matched the older man's.

Bobby shook his head before walking over to kneel on the other side of Sam.

Dean knew this was not the time to grieve because Sam needed their complete attention. He prayed to whatever God was listening that he would also not be grieving for Sam when this was all over.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hang in there! We are getting close to the end! **


	13. Have to Go Back

_The Story so far…_

_"It's okay, Dean," Sam said still without taking his eyes off of the demon's silver ones. "You'll be proud of what I can do."_

_Without waiting for his response, Dean watched as Sam closed his eyes and collapsed. Before Dean and Bobby could even come to his aid, billowing black smoke simultaneously shot out of Ellen, Jo, and the unnamed man before those bodies too fell to the ground. After Dean moved his hand away that had been shielding his face from the rapidly exiting demon smoke, he felt frozen with shock for a moment as he stared at the unmoving bodies of his little brother and two friends._

_"What the hell just happened? Is it over already?" Bobby asked in rapid succession._

_"I don't think so," Dean said as he quickly knelt down next to Sam and pulled his brother's head into his lap, confirming with incredible relief that he was still breathing strongly. "Sam had told me a few days ago that he has to be as disconnected as possible from his body, from his physical state, in order to best and most completely enter the spirit world. He can do it instantly now. I assume the demons can't return to that realm either if still possessing a person."_

_"Oh," Bobby said softly before slowly walking over to Ellen and putting his fingers to her neck before turning to her daughter's crumpled body to do the same. Dean knew why Bobby hesitated because they both knew what he would find. Or rather __not__ find, Dean thought sadly._

_"Ellen and Jo?" Dean asked in a voice almost as soft as a whisper, noticing now that the tears in his eyes matched the older man's._

_Bobby shook his head before walking over to kneel on the other side of Sam._

_Dean knew this was not the time to grieve because Sam needed their complete attention. He prayed to whatever God was listening that he would also not be grieving for Sam when this was all over._

Now…

Chapter 13: Have to Go Back

As always, it took Sam a few seconds to adjust to his new surroundings. No matter how many times he entered the seemingly unending inky darkness of this spirit realm, the initial assault of disabling pain and disorientation was always the same. Sam recognized that it was very unnatural that he as a living person, and now living spirit, was here among the dead. But in his opinion, it was unnatural for _any_ of the spirits to be here rather than at peace. As he worked to calm himself and focus as Gypsy had coached him, Sam could feel the pain surge again tenfold as the suffocation of spirits passing over, under and _through_ him at lightning speed began. Sam had been forced to get used to that too-that the rules of the living, the physical world, did not apply here. Sam again willed himself to section off in his mind the crushing pain that threatened to incapacitate him. Not knowing what to expect with the fight with the silver eyed demon, Sam knew he had to be on guard even more now than ever. He had friends here, yes, but so did the silver eyed demon. Sam announced himself and waited.

"Sssssssaaaaaaaammmmmmm," the silver eyed demon purred a moment later.

Sam could feel his entire self vibrate with the demon's speaking of his name that seemed to infiltrate the blackness from all directions.

"You are in _my_ house now. _My_ domain. Unfortunately, you are no longer welcome here," Sam heard the demon say next in his mind.

"You are as much unwelcome here, demon," Sam answered, realizing now that the demon was standing to his right.

The demon laughed a hearty laugh that quickly morphed into an echoing yell. Sam could feel the spirits around him slow and then still their movements, interested now to watch the showdown. He could next feel familiar presence of spirits of friends, as well as many who weren't, gather around him in support.

"You are quite cocky. I like that actually. So much that I will give you the first shot at me," the demon responded with obvious amusement.

Sam didn't have to be asked twice. He had no interest in prolonging the inevitable fight. Sam quickly gathered his strength and radiated it outward at the silver eyed demon like a sonic boom. Sam could feel the energy of the silver eyed demon to his right forced down and then rise up again.

"Is that _all_ you have?" the demon said with another laugh. "My turn now."

A second later Sam was assaulted by an enveloping weight so strong that he yelled out in agony. Instantly Sam lost his intense concentration and was catapaulted back to the beach, back to his body, to find himself looking up at the very concerned eyes of his brother.

"Sammy? What happened? Are you okay? Is it over?" Dean asked rapidly.

Only expecting the usual disorientation and migraine that always took hold of his body any time he returned from the spirit world, Sam had trouble catching his breath at this new level of pain now coursing through his body thanks to the silver eyed demon and found himself unable to answer his brother at first. Sam couldn't do anything at _all_ but writhe around in the sand as he silently prayed, no _begged_, for it to lessen enough so that he could concentrate enough to return.

"Please, _please_," Sam hissed between ragged breaths as he felt tears on his cheeks.

"Please what, Sammy? What can we do to help you?" Dean asked helplessly.

"I can't stop the bleeding!" Bobby exclaimed in frustration as he continued to blot at Sam's mouth, nose and ears in vain.

"Not…over," Sam muttered through teeth locked togther in pain and he struggled to regain his composure.

"Stop this now! You can't handle any more!" Dean implored as he clenched Sam's shoulders.

"Have…have to go back," Sam insisted with determination, although he was very unsure now if he was even close to strong enough to stopping the silver eyed demon.

"Kid," Bobby said as he quickly leaned over Sam. "Look at me. LOOK AT ME!"

Bobby was finally rewarded with Sam's eyes on him.

"You can do this, Sam. I know you can. WE know you can. Now go take care of business," Bobby said.

After focusing on Bobby and his words of encouragment, Sam finally found himself able to harness his pain and energy enough to return to the spirit world.

Sam gave a weak smile at the older man, knowing that would be thanks enough for Bobby, before once again going limp.

"Why, Bobby?" Dean said before he ran a hand through his hair at his now seemingly pointless question. "What do we do now?"

"I guess we let him do his job," Bobby answered.

**Sorry this chapter is short! Busy lately, but will try to update real soon as we come to the conclusion of this story! Thanks always for reading and reviewing! **


	14. The Right Thing

_"Stop this now! You can't handle any more!" Dean implored as he clenched Sam's shoulders._

_"Have…have to go back," Sam insisted with determination, although he was very unsure now if he was even close to strong enough to stopping the silver eyed demon._

_"Kid," Bobby said as he quickly leaned over Sam. "Look at me. LOOK AT ME!"_

_Bobby was finally rewarded with Sam's eyes on him._

_"You can do this, Sam. I know you can. WE know you can. Now go take care of business," Bobby said._

_After focusing on Bobby and his words of encouragement, Sam finally found himself able to harness his pain and energy enough to return to the spirit world._

_Sam gave a weak smile at the older man, knowing that would be thanks enough for Bobby, before once again going limp._

_"Why, Bobby?" Dean said before he ran a hand through his hair at his now seemingly pointless question. "What do we do now?"_

_"I guess we let him do his job," Bobby answered._

Chapter 14: The Right Thing

With another slam of unbearable agony that threatened to again break his concentration and send him back to the beach, Sam returned to the spirit world, feeling weaker and more terrified than ever before.

"So glad you returned. Was rude of you to leave without as much as a tootle loo," the silver eyed demon joked. "But then again you are an _amateur_."

"You are not going to win this," Sam said with as much energy as he could muster.

"You trying to convince me or yourself?" the demon responded with a chuckle.

"I wasn't ready last time. Now I am. It won't be so easy anymore!" Sam yelled back.

"Really?" the demon asked, now only inches from Sam, his breath so hot that Sam felt like he was burning. "Then go ahead and show me. This is more fun than I've had in a very long time."

Sam once again summoned all of his strength and radiated it outward toward the silver eyed demon, careful this time to be more exact in his target, hoping that a greater concentration of his power would be more damaging.

"Impressive," the demon said with a laugh, but Sam could hear in his voice that he sounded just a little less confident and Sam's own confidence grew. "But we are far from done. We could have been something. You and I. Now soon, you will be _nothing_. But not until I am done making you suffer."

For what seemed like hours to Sam, he and the demon fought each other. Sam could not understand how he was still alive and had not yet lost his concentration under the intense assault of pain and pressure. But Sam knew he could not afford to focus on _why_...just that he was holding his own against the demon and still in this fight. However, the next hit from the demon stopped Sam dead in his tracks. He could not move, breath, or talk. He couldn't even scream at the amount of terrific pain that he was feeling that he didn't think was even possible. He couldn't even leave and go back to the beach. He was powerless...he had not choice but to wait for the demon to finish him off. He knew it was coming and he was sorry that he told Dean and Bobby that he could do it. Sorry that they thought he could do it. He didn't deserve their support. He would die soon...alone...and likely be stuck in the spirit world and be forever tortured. Suddenly Sam felt the rush of movement around him and realized with surprise that spirits were swirling in, out and around him. He wondered what was going on.

"Do not give up, Sam," a chorus of voices echoed from around him. "We will help you like you have helped us."

"How nice. You have a cheerleading squad," the demon joked, but with less humor in his voice than before.

Sam wondered why until he felt the spirits swirling around him now settling into him, _filling_ him. It wasn't like before when he was possessed by the group of demons. The spirits now did not overtake him or his mind. He was still in control, but now felt renewed strength and energy...like he was powerful and unstoppable. Their support was so overwhelming that it made him want to weep.

"You…you cannot do this!" the demon yelled.

"You will never understand the power of many because you have only ever served yourself and ruled with fear," Sam said simply before again mustering all of his strength…_their_ strength…and willing it toward the silver eyed demon. Sam heard the silver eyed demon scream so loud that Sam was thrown back and his hearing went deaf. It was deathly quiet and Sam wondered for a moment if he was now dead too. When Sam's hearing again returned a moment later, he felt alone...empty...and he was sorry for that.

"You're not alone, Sammy," he heard Dean whisper into his ear as he felt a hand stroke his face. "We never left your side."

Sam could hear something different in his brother's voice. What was it? Fear? Sadness? No, Sam thought with a jolt. Regret...and grief.

"I won," Sam announced, confused by the long faces he saw on both Dean and Bobby.

"You did great, kid," Bobby talked next, only able to get out those few words before his voice broke.

"Wrong?" Sam asked, this time finding it strange that he could now only get out that one word before starting to violently cough.

Then Sam saw it. The blood on his shirt and on Dean and Bobby. _His_ blood. He realized with another jolt that although he blessedly did not feel any pain anymore, he couldn't feel much of anything else either. His body was going numb.

"Oh," Sam said as the realization hit him. _He_ had won, yes, but his _body_ hadn't. It was finally giving out.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Dean choked before pulling his little brother closer to his chest and holding him very tight. "This isn't fair! This isn't right!"

"Not your fault," Sam managed to get out before he realized there was something even more important he needed to say before it was too late. "Don't...don't be mad at me for dying."

"Dean, just…just let him go peacefully," Bobby suggested tearfully as he kneeled in the sand next to the pair. One hand on each of the boy's shoulders. "Tell him that you're not mad at him for God's sake."

"God? You mean the God whom Sam did all of this for? Who Sammy has done SO MUCH for? Where is He? And where has Sam's loyalty to God gotten him? Nowhere but a life full of death and pain and suffering and now this? Now after all of that, he's going to DIE AGAIN?" Dean screamed.

Sam was a bit taken back by Dean's uncharacteristic breakdown. Sam wasn't scared anymore because he understood now what was happening. It was okay that it would be over soon. He wished he could tell Dean that. So Dean wouldn't be scared or hurt anymore either. Sam began to pray that Dean could understand...

"I DON'T WANT SAM TO DIE. I CAN'T…I NEED-!" Dean yelled before he started to sob over his brother. "Let it be me instead. Let it be me!"

"I know, son. I know," Bobby said, before pausing a moment to get himself together a bit to address the younger brother. "And Sam, Sam you did real good. We're so proud of you."

Sam looked up at Dean and then back to Bobby, his eyes seeming to be the only part of his body that he could still control anymore. They were so sad. But it was okay now. It really was okay. Please understand, Dean, Sam thought because he could not longer speak the words. Please...please God...

"D-," was all Sam could muster to say.

"Don't," Dean whispered so pitifully into his little brother's hair that it broke Bobby's heart. "Don't die. It's not right."

"We agree," another voice suddenly answered.

Everyone looked up to see Rodney now standing in the sand a few feet away from the group.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" Dean asked moments before he noticed Rodney looked different.

The man who had given Sam repeated rides in his push car taxi on the boardwalk was no longer dressed in worn out clothes and a stained red baseball hat. He now wore a crisp tan suit and tie, white shirt and shiny shoes. Not a speck of sand on him anywhere, not a hair out of place.

"Who the hell are you, really?" Bobby said suspiciously as he rose and stood to block the other man's view of the two boys, obviously coming to a similiar conclusion as Dean.

"My name is Briathos," he answered, his eyes moving from Bobby to Sam's unmoving form.

"Is that supposed to mean something-," Dean began before Bobby cut him off.

"An_ angel_?" Bobby asked in disbelief after it dawned on him.

"Yes," the man confirmed. "I have been watching Sam. We are most pleased with what he has accomplished. Most grateful."

"Pleased? Grateful? Maybe if you had done more than just 'been watching Sam' he wouldn't be….-" Dean paused, unable to yet confirm the inevitable outloud. "-so hurt right now!"

"It was not my place to interfere. Only to observe and then reveal myself when the deed was complete," Briathos replied.

"You...you-" Dean said as he carefully let Bobby take his place with Sam." You bastard-you were good at playing a human—spending all that time with Sam. Acting like you_ cared_ about him. And all this time—you were a freakin' spy! You could have done more. You could have helped him!"

"We do care deeply for Sam," the angel responded as if Dean had said the oddest thing in the world. "We care deeply for you and all of God's people."

"Reveal yourself why?" Bobby interupted to ask the angel, feeling for some reason that it was important they know that answer.

"To help him," the angel answered. "To help all of you."

"Help how?" Bobby asked warily.

"The only help I want to hear that you are going to give is making Sam well again," Dean hissed.

"Exactly. He is coming home with me now. There can be no better resolution," the angel said as he took a step closer to Sam.

"BACK OFF!" Dean yelled as he moved to block Briathos' path.

Briathos smiled.

"Why do you resist me?" the angel asked. "We want nothing but to give Sam the freedom he deserves."

"Don't…touch…him," Dean said in a low growl. "So help me…don't step a foot closer or I will stop at _nothing_ until I find a way to kill you _and_ all your angel pals. And just like Sam...I can achieve what all others have failed to do."

"I will ignore your statements that would usually result in your instant death. You are grieving. We understand, but you too will not be without reward for your trouble," Briathos replied.

"Heal Sam and then leave us the hell alone for good! The rest of us need no pathetic token of appreciation from you!" Dean demanded.

"I am not authorized to heal his body. Even if I was, that would not change the fact that he cannot remain among humans with his current…abilities intact. It would be most unwise," the angel replied.

"Unwise? You made him become this way! To...to develop these abilities to do your dirty work! You used him! Just like you used our mom!" Dean yelled.

"You will not be without reward for your trouble," Briathos repeated before a bright light burst out of the chest of the tan clothed angel so bright that Dean and Bobby had no choice but to turn away and cover their eyes.

When Dean opened his eyes, he now saw a sunny vibrant blue sky with rolling white clouds. He could see now too that he was standing in a field of chest high golden wheat. And it was deathly quiet, except for the sound of the light wind blowing the grain back and forth in an almost hypnotizing swaying motion. How the hell did he get there and where was Sam? Dean quickly looked around. He couldn't see his brother anywhere and he didn't know what the hell was going on. Was he dead? Was this heaven?

"Dean?" Dean turned to the left to see Bobby walking toward him through the tall wheat followed by Helen and Jo!

"What's going on?" Jo asked the group. "I was…I was...dead. My mom too. How are we now alive?"

"Sam wasn't with you?" Dean asked hopefully.

"No," Bobby answered. "I don't think he's-."

Dean held up a hand to silence the older man and Bobby did just that. Dean's heart began to pound and he slowly backed away from the group, a sickening feeling growing in his stomach. No. _No_! Sam _was_ here somewhere, just waiting for Dean to find him, healthy and alive and ready to hit the road. He would hug Dean and slap him on the back while flashing one of his classic big grins that lit up his whole face...

"Sam! SAM! WHERE ARE YOU?" Dean yelled as he began to ran. He would find him...he would find him...he was here somewhere...

"Dean! Stop! DEAN!" he could hear Bobby yelling after him, but Dean kept running.

"So this is your idea of a reward for me?" Dean yelled up at the sky after stopping running a few minutes later between heavy breaths. "I WANT SAM! GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!"

Dean was answered only by another gust of wind that moved the wheat back and forth. He dropped to his knees hard on the ground. He thought about screaming. He thought about praying, even though he never believed in that. But most of all he thought about Sam. He knew Sam was gone. No matter what he did...nothing would change that. And it was all his fault...

"Kid," he heard Bobby say a few minutes later before he sat down next to him.

Dean didn't say anything. He couldn't. Bobby put his arm around Dean and didn't say anything either when Dean started to sob.

_**Six Months Later…**_

"Hey, kid," Bobby said as he sat down at the booth in the diner, very relieved to see that Dean had once again showed up.

He and Dean met for lunch on the second Tuesday of every month since Sam died…or whatever the hell happened to him. Dead probably, but Bobby still didn't know for sure and hadn't had any luck figuring it out through his books or other information sources. Dean had stayed with Bobby for only two days before heading off in one of his old pickups, leaving his beloved Impala behind in his lot. Dean didn't say why, but Bobby could guess well enough. He worried about Dean, a lot, and had at least convinced him that they should meet once a month. Over the phone wasn't good enough for Bobby to make sure Dean was okay. Dean was far too good of a liar.

"Bobby," Dean said with a rough voice as he rubbed at what looked like a two day old beard, both hands grasping a chipped coffee cup filled with steaming black coffee.

Bobby noticed that Dean had let his hair go long since he had last seen him too. Bobby wondered what else the young man had stopped doing to take care of himself.

"You ain't drinking too much are ya?" Bobby asked just like he always did after they first sat down.

"Nah," Dean answered just like he always did as well, even though Bobby never believed him.

"What you been up to since I last seen you, son?" Bobby asked because he knew they would sit in silence the whole meal in less he forced the kid to at least answer his questions.

"Not much," was Dean's classic response before he took a swallow of coffee, sighed and turned to look out the window. "And before you ask like you always do- no- I haven't gone and done anything crazy to try and bring...him back."

So Dean still couldn't say his name outloud, Bobby thought sadly.

"Because you haven't tried or haven't been able to figure it out any more than I have?" Bobby asked.

"Can we talk about something else?" Dean grumbled before taking another swig of coffee.

Bobby didn't know what else to do. He had beem holding onto the hope that Dean would have come around, or at least started to. It had only been six months that Sam was gone, but he wondered when and if it would ever get any easier for the boy. It was terribly hard for him too; sure, the boys were like sons to him, but Dean? Sam was not only his little brother, but Dean's reason for living and the only thing he saw good in an otherwise terrible world. Bobby knew Dean like the back of his hand and that if Dean didn't at least start talking about how he was going to get on without Sam and realize for once and for all none of this was his fault, Dean didn't have a chance. Bobby would be blaming himself if he didn't at least do everything in his power to not lose Dean too.

"Dean," Bobby began in another attempt to start a heart to heart talk with Dean.

"No," Dean hissed with a steely glare in Bobby's direction.

Bobby sighed and sat back in his seat. Guess the kid knew him pretty darn well too. The older man decided it would be best to again table that subject or this meal was going to be a very short one.

"Ellen and Jo say hi. Been asking about you and wondering when you're gonna stop by," Bobby said next. "They'd really like to see you and catch up."

Bobby watched Dean sigh again before clenching and then unclenching his fist.

"I...I'm glad they're okay now, Bobby, I am, but I...I can't go and see them," Dean responded quietly.

Bobby nodded and didn't say anything back at first, recognizing now that it must be very difficult for the boy that the angel saved the women and not Sam.

"What'll it be, boys?" a middle aged waitress who would have been pretty except for her black eye asked them.

Bobby stared at her face for a moment, tempted to ask her who had used her as a punching bag so he could return the favor.

"Just more coffee," Dean answered without as much as looking up.

Dean sure missed alot lately and Bobby worried endlessly that would be his undoing one day in their line of work. Bobby sighed again and placed his order. Dean used to care about people. Sam would have definitely cared. A laugh radiated out from the kitchen area that screeched Bobby's thoughts to a halt. It sounded familiar…he glanced at Dean who had a look of pure shock on his face. They heard the laugh again before a voice rang out, "Joy, your order for table three is up!"

"What the hell?" Dean exclaimed before turning around to look in the direction of the kitchen. "That sounded like-!"

"Sam!" Bobby finished for him in disbelief before a more likely explanation hit him. "But hold up there, kid. It sounds like Sam because we_ want_ so badly it to sound like Sam," Bobby replied because he didn't know what else to say or how else it could be true..._could_ it be true?

"He doesn't remember," a man in the booth next to Dean responded. "He has a good life now. Quiet. Low key. You let your brother see you…talk to you...he'll remember. Remember it all. Then this will have all been for naught. We won't be able to protect him anymore either. Null and void."

Dean and Bobby turned to look at the man in the booth next to Dean where they both knew it was empty just a moment before.

"Briathos! You son of a-," Dean began before Bobby grabbed Dean's hand and held it against the table in a failed attempt to calm him. "I have been looking everywhere for you."

"I am aware. Anyway, about Sam. It's your choice," the angel calmly.

"First of all, you can keep your lousy angel protection. Didn't do my mom any damn good," Dean began angrily. "And secondly, this is Sam's reward? A dead end job as a cook at a diner? Sounds more like hell to me."

"Well, his rent isn't going to pay itself. His scholarship to law school only covers tuition," Briathos responded.

"Wh...what?" Dean stuttered in shock.

"Your choice," the angel repeated before the booth was again empty.

Dean slammed his free fist on the table and drew the stares of the people around him. Bobby knew Dean didn't care about that, but they had to figure this out fast, with a level head and as little attention on them as possible.

"Dean," Bobby said still keeping a tight grip on Dean's arm that he could now feel begin to shake. "Keep it together."

"What the hell did he mean? Sam is here, alive, but doesn't know who he is? Or…or was? Or anything?" Dean said before looking up at Bobby. _He doesn't even remember me? _

Bobby could see Dean's tough guy image; the "I don't give a damn" demenaor was gone. He saw Dean's now vunerable eyes begin to tear up and Bobby felt like they were again sitting together in the wheat field while he held Dean as if no time had passed.

"I guess they did heal him after all…and made him forget about his former life so he would not be tempted to use his abilities…put him in this job…here in this diner…knowing that we would see him so we would know that they made it all okay," Bobby guessed.

"But we don't_ know_ that he's okay! We don't _know_ what they have done to him," Dean insisted as he began to nervously tap is fingers of his free hand on the table.

"That's true. But what…what if the angels…God…did make it all okay? Do we want to take that chance? Bring Sam back into the hunter's world? If he's out of that…if he's really okay now...there ain't no better reward than that," Bobby said. "And him going to law school again is just icing on the cake."

Dean sighed and ignored the tears he knew were now running down his face now. And he didn't care who saw. If people wanted to stare at him crying there like a baby, he'd just smash their faces in. Simple as that.

"But I miss him," Dean said so very softly that Bobby almost didn't hear.

"I know, son," Bobby replied sadly. "I do too. So like the angel said, it's your choice. Whatever you want to do."

Dean looked over his shoulder toward the pass through window of the kitchen and then back again to Bobby. Dean couldn't see Sammy, but he was in there. SAMMY WAS IN THERE. Feet away from him. He could have his brother back…they could be together again. Sam laughing at his bad jokes…or playing pranks with him…talking about old times…riding shotgun in his baby and complaining about his taste in music. Sam deserved to remember who he was, all of the selfless good he did to save others no matter how hard it was on Sam. But then there were the long days and nights, fighting monster after monster…the pain…the death…the unending fight to survive... and if Sam was back in law school? It would be just as if Dean had never dragged his little brother away from that good life in the first place when their dad first went missing. How many times had Dean wished for that? How many times had he thought about how better off Sam would have been without him?

"What are you going to do, Dean?" Bobby asked as he finally let go of Dean's arm and sat back to wait for his answer.

Dean thought for a moment and suddenly remembered something his little brother had told him in the car on their way to Atlantic City to find Gypsy.

_"Dean?" Sam said as the tall casino buildings rose into view._

_"Yeah?" Dean answered._

_"Before we get there, I need to say just one more thing, and then I promise I won't bring it up again, okay?" Sam asked._

_"Oh God, what now?" Dean asked._

_"I'm glad that you didn't go away and leave me to a new, safe, and normal life. Because life without you would not be normal," Sam said._

"Dean? I said what are you going to do?" Bobby repeated.

Dean wiped away his tears quickly.

"The right thing," Dean finally replied a few moments later.

_**The End**_

_**Thanks so much for reading, writing, reviewing. This has been a fun trilogy to write. I hope you all liked it. **_


	15. Epilogue

**I was perfectly content to leave the story where it ended...however, Dean and Sam would ****not let my mind rest about this story...so for all of you looking for a more concrete ending...here you go.**

**_The Story So Far..._**

_"What are you going to do, Dean?" Bobby asked as he finally let go of Dean's arm and sat back to wait for his answer._

_Dean thought for a moment and suddenly remembered something his little brother had told him in the car on their way to Atlantic City to find Gypsy. Seemed like a million years ago now…_

_"Dean?" Sam said as the tall casino buildings rose into view._

_"Yeah?" Dean answered._

_"Before we get there, I need to say just one more thing, and then I promise I won't bring it up again, okay?" Sam asked._

_"Oh God, what now?" Dean asked._

_"I'm glad that you didn't go away and leave me to a new, safe, and normal life. Because life without you would not be normal," Sam said._

_"Dean? I said what are you going to do?" Bobby repeated._

_Dean wiped away his tears quickly._

_"The right thing," Dean finally replied a few moments later._

**Now...**

Chapter 15: Epilogue (Sam's P.O.V.)

One Year Later...

I'm so nervous that I feel sick to my stomach. I was used to the nagging headaches by now that had come as soon as the memories started slowly returning, but the nausea was new. I recognized that it was my nerves getting the best of me and that I was starting to shake. Bobby tells me to "calm the hell down" and I can't help but smile. Just like old times. Except it wasn't_ exactly_ like old times, because I don't quite remember all of the old times. Not yet. Bobby's been trying to help me fill in some of the blanks and I thank him over and over. He told me after a while to shut up already, that he was so damn glad to see me that he wouldn't have minded reading me the entire phone book if I had asked. He also tells me not to worry, that my brother will come. That Dean will be happy to know I was starting to remember. I'm not so sure.

It was about two weeks ago when I began searching the internet furiously for days until I finally came across a mugshot and the name "Dean Winchester." I remember sitting back in my chair in front of my small desk on which I kept my laptop and tried to rack my brain for why that name sounded so familiar. To remember _anything_ about this stranger who had been showing up at the diner like clockwork every other month as well as at school and even following me home once in a while. I thought he was some kind of crazy stalker creep and I had hoped to dig up at least some dirt to help substantiate my claims. The women at the diner thought he was cute. They told me he was nice and tipped well, but was quiet. Usually ordered black coffee and something to eat, although he never touched the food. I didn't expect what would start to happen, once I found Dean's name. It was the tip of the iceberg. The end to life as I knew it. And the more research I did, the faster the memories came back, including many of Bobby. That's when I left to see the older man because I didn't know what else to do.

Another unbearable fifteen minutes passes during which Bobby and I continue to sit in his living room across from each other. We are both silent, lost in our own thoughts. The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach intensifies and rush to the bathroom to throw up. When I am finished, I look at myself in the mirror and almost want to laugh. Two weeks ago my biggest concern was passing my "Child and Family Advocacy" law class midterm and now? Now I remembered that I was some kind of psychic who has been chased by demons and touched by an angel. And Dean? What can I say about Dean? I'm damn scared that he won't show and damn scared that he will.

I open the medicine cabinet and pull out the bottle of pain killers to try and dull the headache again. Bobby doesn't know, but I'm sure he'll ask me about it soon enough when he notices half of his pills are gone. I'm not sure my headaches mean something or not. I pop a few and shut the cabinet after putting the bottle back. I take a deep breath and leave the bathroom. I walk slowly back to the living room and sit. I'm glad that Bobby doesn't say anything, even though I'm sure he heard me throw up.

"You okay, kid?" Bobby finally asks gently a few minutes later.

I look away from his scrutinizing glance and sigh.

"Yeah," I lie because I don't feel like talking about it.

We don't say anything else for a while, both aware by our repeated glances at the clock that Dean is late. The anticipation is _killing_ me. I'm not sure if I would feel better if I screamed, cried, or threw up again. Another half an hour passes and my head starts to throb in sync with the ticking of the clock. I can't help but think that this is all a mistake, having Bobby trick Dean into coming. Maybe Dean found out and is mad at me. After all, if Dean wanted to see me, he wouldn't have let me live a lie for the past year. I have so many questions, but I try not to dwell on them. I look again at Bobby who has since dozed off. I'm glad to be free of his looks in my direction for the moment. I at least want to ask Dean _why_ and then I'll leave him alone if that's what he wants.

I suddenly hear a car drive up and turn off. Bobby hears it too and stands, guess he wasn't sleeping after all. He looks at me and tells me that he's going to give us some privacy and walks out of the room. I hear Dean walk up the steps, already calling out for Bobby. I watch the door knob turn before the door swings toward me. Dean opens his mouth again to yell for Bobby and then he sees me. I know I'm shaking again and I jam my fists into my jeans pockets. I try to smile, but I'm a bit startled by how different Dean looks than I remembered. His expression is hard and cold and he has at least a week's beard on his face. He doesn't smile back. Isn't he _at all _glad to see me?

I dare to keep my eyes locked on Dean's and a million memories suddenly come slamming into my brain so fast that the floor tilts and my vision goes black for a moment. I feel myself falling forward before strong arms catch me. I still can't see yet, but know that I'm being lowered to the floor. I remember now. I remember _everything._ My vision starts to return and I can now see Dean and Bobby are kneeling over me.

"What the hell is going on, Dean?" Bobby asks in concern as my vision finally clears.

"I could ask you the same thing!" Dean yells before backing away from me like I have the plague. "What is _he_ doing here?"

For some reason, Dean's statement makes me angry. I wasn't thinking clearly already and this reunion was _not_ going the way I expected _at all_.

When the dizziness also subsides, I stand up slowly and Bobby looks at me again. He takes my face into his hands without even asking, and studies it.

"What happened, son?" Bobby asks. "You really ain't looking too good. Ain't _really_ looked right since you got here."

"I ask _again_, Bobby," Dean repeats angrily as if wasn't standing right _freakin'_ next to me, "What is he doing here?"

"He brought himself here. Said he remembered me and was starting to remember everything else too," Bobby answers.

I wonder does _no one_ see me here? Am I invisible?

"So you started to fill in the blanks for him? You could have lied to him…or in the least sent him away! You also could have given me a heads up instead of lying about why you wanted me to come here!" Dean yells. "This is not what I wanted!"

"Sam asked to talk to you in private," Bobby explains angrily. "And if _you_ would've left him alone, he wouldn't have gotten suspicious and went looking for answers in the first place! I'm not going to turn my back on him, Dean! What would that accomplish? He's here now and he's back for good. Deal with it!"

"Maybe if I apologize to Briathos, he can undo it all. Put him back and swap out his memory again," Dean suggests, a hint of desperation in his voice now.

"Put him back? He's not a dog that ran away from the pound! He's your brother! Standing right in front of you! At least look at him, God damn it!" Bobby exclaims.

I listen to them continue to argue as if I'm not there and my anger morphs into pure rage. I stride over to one of the windows and slam my fist right through it before walking right out the still open front door. I remember everything, yet things are more confusing now than ever. I ignore my throbbing hand and the blood running down my forearm.

"Hey," Dean calls out from a few steps behind me. "HEY!"

I stop and turn around. Dean is alone and looks as mad as I feel.

"I have a name, _Dean_," I say angrily. "I haven't heard you use it yet. But then again, it has been awhile. Maybe you _forgot_. Sounds like you've been really trying hard to forget alot of things where I'm concerned!"

Dean says nothing in response as he walks the last few steps toward me to wrap gauze around my cut up hand.

That move feels _so_ familiar, like the thousands of times before that we took care of each other after a fight with a demon or supernatural creature, that my breath catches in my throat. I missed him and I wonder how the angel ever got me to forget about Dean in the first place.

"Why, Dean?" I ask softly, unable to prevent the tears that I now feel in my eyes. "Why'd you do it?"

He steps away from me again before running a hand over his face and sighing.

"Do what?" he asks unnecessarily.

He has no anger in his voice this time, but oddly no other feeling either.

It seemed _so_ unlike the Dean I remembered that he throws off my train of thought. I've seen him treat other people like that, with a cold indifference that no doubt took him years to perfect, but not with me. _Never_ with me. Another thought dawns on me, one that I hadn't considered before or maybe didn't _want_ to consider. Dean's words from earlier play over again in my mind, so painful to recall that if bashing my head on the pavement would erase them I think I would have. I shake my head at how dumb I was to believe Bobby. It was _so_ clear to me now.

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "Bobby shouldn't have called you. And I...I shouldn't have come."

I start to walk back toward the house to get my things. Dean doesn't call after me or follow me and I know I'm right.

After I enter the house, Bobby jumps to his feet and asks me what happened. I answer truthfully and tell him nothing. I walk past him to grab my duffel bag that I had been keeping on the side of the couch where I had been sleeping. If Bobby says anything after that, I didn't hear him. I walk right out the door again and get in my car.

I start driving, although I don't know where I'm going. I had quit my job at the diner, broke the lease on my apartment and dropped out of school. I had been so sure that I could just slip right back into my old life with Dean. I start to laugh at my stupidity and it quickly turns into heaving sobs. I can't deny that I am just...what one word could I use to sum up what I was feeling at that momet? Heartbroken? Betrayed? I'm not sure. I pull over to the side of the road and soon my headache is a full on migraine. I welcome the distraction.

I jump when I hear a knock on my window and am surprised to see that it is dark outside. I must have fallen asleep. Blessedly my migraine has again been reduced to a dull headache. I'm also surprised to see Dean standing there and he climbs into the passenger seat without even asking. God, is it _deathly_ quiet in the car. And _dark_. Feels like the two of us are the only two people in the world and for that moment, we are. I think about turning on the overhead light and decide against it.

"You asked me why, Sammy," Dean says and I almost burst into tears again at his use of my nickname, "why'd I do it? I did it for the same reason that I have done everything for as long as I can remember. For you."

I don't trust myself to speak yet without getting upset so I wait for him to continue.

"I never could give you the life you deserved. No matter how hard I tried. And as much as it kills me to admit it, the angel could and did. How could I then willingly take you _away_ from that good life and put you back into the hunter's life? We all know how that story ends and it ain't _ever_ with a happy ending," Dean says, "I should've stayed away from you, but I just...I just couldn't do it. I'm the one who is sorry."

I try to process what my brother is saying before answering, but am now more confused than ever.

"Really? You sure as hell weren't happy to see me back there. I think my having a happy ending in a new life without _you_ meant that you could finally have a happy ending in a new life without _me_. Finally free of me, your...your burden that you've had to bear for as long as you can remember. I get it. I do. You didn't have to follow me to make sure that I understand that. I'm leaving for good, okay?" I say quickly, as much as I hate to admit that it hurts to do so.

"_What_?" Dean asks with such hurt in his voice that it confuses me. "You _really_ believe that? You _really_ think that's why I came after you? Haven't you listened to a word I just said?"

I shake my head yes even though I know he can't see me. I am mad at myself for starting to cry again, wishing I had perfected the stoic and careless demeanor that Dean can portray so well. Without warning, Dean pulls me into a hug so tight that I can feel he is crying now as well. I hug back just as tightly. Now...now I believe him.

**_Two days later..._**

"Because I _don't_ like you, is that a good enough reason?" I hear Dean yell downstairs. "I don't know how you found us, but if you told anyone where Sam is, so help me-."

I quickly finish washing my face and bound down the steps. Dean is talking to someone at Bobby's front door, but I can't yet see who.

"Please, just for a moment?" a female voice asks.

It's Gypsy! I rush over and pull the door fully open, revealing that it is indeed the psychic. She had dyed her hair red and cut it short, but there was no mistaking her.

"She was just leaving, Sammy," Dean says protectively.

"No, wait," I say. "It's okay. I want to talk to her."

"Make it short," Dean says before angrily walking off.

I step outside and shut the door behind me. We sit down on the steps and are quiet for a minute before she speaks.

"I've been searching for you for a long time. Worried that you died destroying the demon. I've only been able to see you in my mind's eye since a couple of weeks ago," she says.

I quickly recap the events since I was taken by the angel on the beach in Atlantic City following that fight.

"Ah," she said with a smile as she rests her hand on my knee. "Now I understand why you were invisible to me then and not now, but it does not matter. I have some things I wish to tell you and I cannot stay long."

"If it's Dean you're worried about, don't-," I start to say.

"It's not Dean," she says, her smile leaving her face. "I have to keep moving, for my own safety and sanity. Been on the go for a while now. No more A.C. tourists for me. I'm done with that sham of a life. But speaking of Dean, don't be upset at him for what he did. He thought he was doing the right thing."

"Was he?" I ask, genuinely interested in an objective opinion.

She smiled.

"I would have. You're...you're a very special person Sam. You deserve heaven on earth."

"Not any more than anyone else!" I implore to her. "Why is everyone so concerned about what _I_ deserve?"

"I would expect you to say that, Sam. Always giving and never wanting, or expecting, anything in return," Gyspy says with another smile.

"I'm no saint!" I exclaim, sick of everyone always either putting me up high on a pedestal or treating me with kid gloves.

"I said special, Sam, _not_ saint," she reminded me gently.

"Why did you come?" I ask next, suspecting she has a question for me.

"How are you doing?" she asks without looking me in the eye.

"Okay...I mean I still have headaches, but they're manageable," I answer, confused by how this question was worth her possibly dangerous visit.

"No, let me ask it a different way. Can you still do it?" she asks softly.

"Do what?" I ask before I understand that she is asking about my psychic abilities. "I don't know. I haven't tried since...since I remembered I could."

She nods her head.

"Don't try," she advises with a look of fear and sadness on her face as she stands.

"Why are you telling me that? I don't know why I would need to-," I began to say before she interupted me with another hand on my knee.

"You have dealt them a heavy blow, by killing the silver eyed demon. The scale has now been tipped far in our favor...but...and _never_ forget this...just as there is always good, there is always evil. The demons will again gather power. A hero...a savior...will again be needed and the demons will again seek to recruit _or_ destroy that individual," Gyspy explains.

"Are you saying that...that I'll have to do this all over again?" I ask with a jolt of panic and shock.

"Haven't you already in one way or another? Over and over again?" she points. "And each time it is harder and harder, calling on you to sacrifice more and more. But you don't have to. I know you feel it is your burden, but it's not. Or at least doesn't have to be anymore. I care about you Sam, and I want you to know that. They don't know where you are, at least not yet. That is another reason I dare not stay in your precense for long. But if you start testing your abilities again, they _will_ know."

"But what happened to it's my fate and desitny and all that other stuff you told me?" I exclaim before something else far more terrifying dawns on me. "Wait. Did you...did you have another premontion about me? Is that why you have been looking for me?"

"Just...just don't try," she repeats with tears in her eyes. "_Please_."

She gives me a hug and starts to walk to her car.

"Where will you go?" I call out to her and she turns to look back at me.

She reads between the lines, knowing I really mean, _"How will I find you when I need you again?"_

She doesn't answer, gets in her car, and drives away. I stay standing out there for a while staring out at nothing, trying my best to digest our converstation and wondering what the future has in store for me and everyone else.

"What did Pseudo Psychic want?" Dean asks suspciously, likely worried about why I have not yet come back inside.

"Wanted to ask if I was okay," I answer.

"Are you?" Dean asks.

"For now," I reply truthfully, realizing that in our line of work that is all we can hope for.

"Are _we_ okay?" he asks me next.

I smile.

"Yeah, Dean. We're okay," I answer just as truthfully.

**Thanks again for reading this last part. I hope you all enjoyed it. I could go on writing another whole story to this trilogy, but like Gypsy, it's time to move on. :)**


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